IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that advancements in technology are making people less social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Does
technology
Use synonyms
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 us less social?
Techonolgy
Correct your spelling
Technology
 has become part of our lifestyle. Many people use
technology
Use synonyms
 to help their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, communicating with others,
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 and learn new things.
Technology
Use synonyms
 brings both positive and negative aspects.
This
Linking Words
 essay will share
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experiences and data about the benefits and disadvantages of
technology
Use synonyms
 in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. One benefit of
technology
Use synonyms
 advancements is making our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 easier and faster than before. Online resources provide unlimited learning materials, educational apps help
self-paced
Change preposition
with self-paced
show examples
 learning,
digital
Correct word choice
and digital
show examples
 libraries make knowledge more accessible UNESCO
(
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
2021). It explains that
technology
Use synonyms
 enhances inclusive and equitable quality education worldwide, helps society to grow more
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
 and sharp.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 world growth more significant.
However
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 still
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 disadvantages that make people less social.
American
Correct article usage
The American
show examples
 Psychological Association (APA) said
, internet
Correct word choice
that, internet
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
contributed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 declines in participants' communication with family members in the household, declines in the size of their social circle, and increases in their depression and loneliness.
This
Linking Words
 is a clear example that
technology
Use synonyms
 can make us
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, trap ourselves inside and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
languange
Correct your spelling
language
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 still
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 drawbacks
effects
Check wording
apply
show examples
on our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion,
technology
Use synonyms
 might make us grow, halt our progress or even bring us down. It depends on how
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
we use the gadgets. Don't get addicted to
technology
Use synonyms
 and use it when you need it, not when you want it.
Technology
Use synonyms
 always depends on the
user
Check wording
user's
show examples
 actions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay with a clear plan. Write four parts: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph. Say if you agree, disagree, or both.
ideas
Explain one idea at a time. Give a short, real example for each idea.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas fit. For example: First, also, but, finally.
language accuracy
Check small spelling and grammar errors before you finish.
balance
The essay shows both good and bad sides of tech.
evidence
Some real sources are named (APA, UNESCO).
stance
The ending says how we should use tech.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: