IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than the public transport system. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that
government
Use synonyms
 funds should be invested in
roads
Use synonyms
 and motorways rather than public
transport
Use synonyms
. I am convinced that spending public funds on public
transport
Use synonyms
 has considerable implications for both the environment and
road
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
. A key advantage of investing in the public
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is that it helps eliminate
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
This
Linking Words
 stems from the fact that well-maintained and user-friendly
roads
Use synonyms
 stimulate the
transport
Use synonyms
 movement fast and free. Should the
government
Use synonyms
 replace rough
roads
Use synonyms
 with flat, safe
roads
Use synonyms
, without excessive restrictions, even if they have paid entry,
users
Use synonyms
 are more likely to choose them over stressful
roads
Use synonyms
. Plus, the
government
Use synonyms
 encourages the maintenance and improvement of the
road
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 using taxes and funds collected from
road
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, people are very happy to have a vehicle-friendly
road
Use synonyms
 which requires the amount of money for taxes in the USA, especially during the rush-hour
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you're running late for somewhere.
Thus
Linking Words
, paying attention to
roads
Use synonyms
 encourages
road
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 and helps prevent
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion. A
further
Linking Words
 important benefit of improving the public
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 through
government
Use synonyms
 funding is to prevent detrimental effects on the environment. By reducing excessive private vehicles, public
transport
Use synonyms
 contributes to a positive effect on blooming environmental areas.
This
Linking Words
 not only alleviates
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion but
also
Linking Words
 contributes to a more sustainable urban environment.
For example
Linking Words
, in South Korea , applying a new role once a month, which is called “ a day without using cars
”
Punctuation problem
”,
show examples
to prevent nature from carbon emissions through vehicles. In the long run, the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest
traffic
Use synonyms
system
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 to enhance both nature and people's lives. In conclusion, having considered both perspectives, I firmly believe that investing in public
transport
Use synonyms
 is far more beneficial than spending on motorways.

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task response
Say your view at the start in one short line.
task response
Explain each idea with a clear why and a simple example that fits, not too long.
language
Check for small errors in word use, like 'role' should be 'rule' and keep words simple.
language
Use simple, short sentences to keep the meaning clear.
coherence
Use connecting words to link ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'for example'.
planning
Plan your writing before you start so the ideas go in a good order.
task response
Finish with a clear end that matches your view.
task response
You show a clear view on the topic.
coherence
The intro and the end are present.
coherence
Two main ideas are given: less jams and less bad air.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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