IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is common practice for some students to take a gap year between high school and university in order to do charitable work abroad in underdeveloped countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people of doing volunteer work?

Many students, after
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 school diploma, go abroad in order to do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charitable work in some underdeveloped countries for one
year
Use synonyms
, before starting University. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a good idea to spend
time
Use synonyms
 helping poor people and
knowing
Verb problem
learning about
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 different cultures and places.  Many students don't know what to
to
Use the right word
do
show examples
 during University and,
sometimes
Punctuation problem
sometimes,
show examples
 they are not prepared to choose what kind of work
the
Use the right word
they
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 want to
to
Use the right word
do
show examples
 in the future. Some of them just begin University, trying to find their place,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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take
an
Correct article usage
a
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 period of
time
Use synonyms
 when they aren't employed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a growing part of them take a gap
year
Use synonyms
 performing some charitable jobs in underdeveloped countries. I strongly believe that not all young
persons
Check wording
people
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 are able to make a choice at the same
time
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 and,
sometimes
Punctuation problem
sometimes,
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time
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 could be helpful. Parents have a pivotal role in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 decisions, and sometimes, they have to suggest
to wait
Wrong verb form
waiting
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 for a
year
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 and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
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 at other realities. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is fundamental for a student to come visit an underdeveloped country, in order to see other ways of life and how other
guys
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people
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 like him/her sometimes
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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 have the same opportunities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adolescents are exposed to many external
pressions
Correct your spelling
pressures
, in order to quickly find and obtain a successful and
highly-remunerative
Use the right word
highly remunerative
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 work.
Finally
Linking Words
, not all students have the same opportunities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 sometimes
this
Linking Words
 "
sabatic
Correct your spelling
sabbatical
"
year
Use synonyms
 is an available option only for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 of them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be concluded that, in cases
on
Change preposition
of
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 unclear ideas, finding a charitable job in a foreign underdeveloped country is a reasonable and suggestive option, helping both the visitors and the residents.

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grammar
Fix many small grammar mistakes. Use 'a gap year' and 'volunteer work' well.
structure
Make a simple plan: start with a short intro, then talk about good things, then bad things, then a short ending with your view.
content
Give one or two clear points for each side. Avoid long, hard sentences.
content
Use real and clear examples to show points.
task response
The idea is clear and the opinion is seen.
coherence
Link words are used to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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