IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In today's
word
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world
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, some
people
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 reckon that
people
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's worth is more measured by social
status
Use synonyms
 and material wealth than traditional
virtus
Correct your spelling
virtues
.
Although
Linking Words
 there is some truth to
this
Linking Words
 view, I believe that traditional ethics still play an important part in
people
Use synonyms
's personal and professional
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
To begin
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 with, some argue that social platforms play a significant role in intensifying the tendency
of
Change preposition
to
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 evaluate others based on their social
status
Use synonyms
 and material possessions.
This
Linking Words
 is happening because
people
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 can show their luxury cars and homes, expensive gadgets to their global audience through videos and
photgraphs
Correct your spelling
photographs
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the audiences make judgments about
the
Correct article usage
a
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 person's wealth and success based on outward appearances rather than their moral qualities.
On the other hand
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, traditional moral values are still relevant in professional and personal lives. In the workplace, employers usually prioritise applicants who are honest, kind and trustworthy because companies cannot operate efficiently if they hire solely based on social
status
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 and material wealth.
Moreover
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, personal relationships
also
Linking Words
 depend on qualities,
such
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 as loyalty and empathy
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 forming strong
bondis
Correct your spelling
bonds
 and lasting relationships.
For example
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, the relationship between husband and wife requires these moral values
,
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;
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 it is difficult to maintain a stable relationship without them.
To conclude
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, even though social media platforms are one of the main reasons for why
people
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 judge others
according to
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 their social
status
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, I contend that traditional
valued
Replace the word
values
show examples
 are still crucial in personal and professional lives.

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weakness
You have a clear view, but your ideas are not always backed by full proof. Add a few clear reasons for each idea.
improvement
Link your ideas with good words. Use words like first, also, but, as a result, so that the ideas come in a row.
improvement
Use simple, true spell. Check small errors in words to keep your main point.
improvement
Begin with a strong intro that lists your view and what you will cover. End with a short last line that repeats your view.
strength
You keep a clear view on the topic.
strength
You look at both sides of the topic.
strength
You use easy examples to show your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
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