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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table chart depicts that information about expenditure consumers on food, clothes, and leisure in five countries Spain, Turkey, Ireland, Sweden, and Italy in 2002.

The table describes how much
people
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expend
Verb problem
spend
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 on food, clothes and leisure, in five different
countries
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 in 2002. From an
overall
Linking Words
 view, all these Nations spent most
part
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apply
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of their money on food, drink and Tobacco. Looking at details, in 2002 Turkish expenditure on food, drinks and tobacco was the highest one (32.14%). For the same
items
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items,
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 Irish
people
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 spent 28.91% of their money,
while
Linking Words
 Italy, Spain and Sweden had similar percentages. Oppositely, all these
countries
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 spent the least part on leisure and
edication
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education
. For
istance
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instance
,
Spainish
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Spanish
 expenditure on
this
Linking Words
 stuff was only 1.98%. Other percentages of Ireland, Italy, Sweden and Turkey were slightly higher, but not so different.
Finally
Linking Words
, Swedish
people
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 spent 5.4% on clothing and footwear,
while
Linking Words
 9% of Italian expenditure was on the same item. Among these five
Countries
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, Sweden seems to spend the lowest percentage on all
the
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apply
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three categories. It can be concluded that, in 2002,
people
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 spent more on primary items than on leisure and education, with a similar trend in all the examined
Countries
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • consumer spending
  • cultural priorities
  • economic conditions
  • disposable income
  • standard of living
  • work-life balance
  • proportion of spending
  • cultural preferences
  • comparison of spending
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