The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.

Many people believe that the main role of education is to prepare children for the modern world.

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This

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For this

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reason

some

Punctuation problem

, some

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people think that schools should remove from the curriculum so that

students

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can focus on more useful

subjects

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like information technology.

However

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, I do not agree with

this

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idea.

Firstly

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art

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and

music

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play an important role in

develping

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developing

student's

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students'

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creativity and imagination. These skills are very valuable in the modern world.

For example

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, many successful industries,

such

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as design, advertising, film, and game development,

requrie

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require

creative thinking. If schools remove

art

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and

music

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students

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may lose the chance to develop these crucial abilities.

Second,

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art

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and

music

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can help

students

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relax and reduce stress. School life can sometimes be difficult because

students

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have many

subjects

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to study and many exams to

task

Use the right word

take

show examples

. Activities like drawing, painting, and playing musical instruments

allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

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students

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to express their feelings and enjoy learning in a different way.

This

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can improve their mental health and make school enjoyable.

Finally

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, education should develop the whole person, not only academic skills.

While

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subjects

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like information technology are important for future jobs,

Students

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also

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need cultural knowledge and emotional development.

Art

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and

music

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help

students

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understand culture, history, and human

expresion

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expression

. In conclusion,

although

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information technology is an important subject in modern education,

art

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and

music

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should not be removed from the curriculum. These

subjects

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help

students

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become more creative, balanced, and well-rounded individuals.

sitdara32

Mar 7, 2026

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grammar

Grammar and spelling are not exact. Fix mistakes like 'developing', 'requrie', 'expresion'. Make plural and verb form right.

structure

Use one clear idea in each paragraph and start with a simple topic sentence.

content

Give more clear examples to back up each point. Simple facts or real events can help.

coherence

Link ideas better. Use simple words like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'therefore' to connect thoughts.

task response

The view is clear and the plan to defend it is seen.

coherence

There are signs of order, with words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly' and 'Finally'.

content

The essay adds more than one reason to help the reader see the point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
cultural education
globally connected world
problem-solving skills
critical thinking
well-rounded education
self-expression
mental health impacts
digital art
music production
technology-driven careers
academic performance
intellectual growth
emotional development
creative subjects
enrich creativity
foster a sense of achievement
stress relief

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.

today more and more teenagers make important decisions, such as study field and career choices, themselves. What problems does it cause? How to solve them?

You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to take time off work • give details of the amount of time you need • suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.