IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?

It is often argued that
students
Use synonyms
 should be able to
criticize
Change the spelling
criticise
show examples
 their teachers in school for active participation. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
critics
Fix the agreement mistake
criticism
show examples
 can improve concentration and thinking skills. One main reason I support
this
Linking Words
 opinion is
Use synonyms
class
Correct word choice
that class
show examples
 with refutations can improve the quality of education.
For example
Linking Words
, teachers can prepare the
class
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 more effectively and precisely to deliver their
students
Use synonyms
 exact information.
In addition
Linking Words
, if the
class
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 ban any criticism,
students
Use synonyms
 would become passive
receiver
Fix the agreement mistake
receivers
show examples
 and just
hearing
Wrong verb form
hear
show examples
 what
teachers
Correct article usage
the teachers
show examples
saying
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
. There would be many ways to enhance education systems, and it would be effective if schools
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
students
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 to engage with their colleagues. Studying together and sharing their ideas in
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
 can help them practice
to think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 in various ways.
Although
Linking Words
 some
students
Use synonyms
 would prefer to study by
theirselves
Use the right word
themselves
show examples
, team activity could
be still
Correct word order
still be
show examples
 valuable because education should include
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
show examples
 with others
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 before adults. In conclusion,
eduation
Correct your spelling
education
 in
class
Use synonyms
 should allow criticism to activate classes and
students
Use synonyms
.
For other
Change preposition
Other
show examples
 ways to create better
educaion
Correct your spelling
education
 environments could be
team
Use the right word
teamwork
show examples
 works
such
Linking Words
 as debates.
Thus
Linking Words
, adults should pay more attention to the way children
being
Verb problem
are being
show examples
 educated.

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content
Add more clear examples to back your points and show how criticism helps learning.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling to make meaning clear.
coherence
Use simple connect words to link ideas, like 'also', 'therefore', 'however'.
planning
Make a short plan before you write: end with a clear conclusion that restates your view.
lexical
Be careful with word form and spelling: 'students', 'team', 'individual' etc.
structure
Clear stance with position stated in introduction and conclusion
content
Some good ideas on how to improve education
content
Effort to show the good side of class talk
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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