An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of talented
.
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individuals.
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For example
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, doctors and teachers are travelling from their low-income
countries
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to work in high-income
countries
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.In
this
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essay, I will discuss which correct method to solve
this
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problem, what troubles may cause ,and give my opinion. On the one hand,the government can attract companies to invest in its
country
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.
This
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led to
,
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apply
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creating more opportunities for the
professionals
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and resulted in a dramatic rise in employment.
Such
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as,famous hospitals and universities can expand their companies by building branches and
then
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open the gates to applicants.
Therefore
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,the number of talented
people
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who are travelling to other
countries
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because they may find more chances than in their own
country
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, is going to gradually decline .
This
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helps the economy of their
country
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.
On the other hand
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,if
professionals
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leave their
country
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may create a hard situation for their
country
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.
This
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is because
,
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the budget and the development of their
country
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may face a sharp decrease.
In addition
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,when they leave their
country
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for other
countries
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, it causes them problems.
Such
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as,more congestion,decreasing the chance for citizens of employment , and
professionals
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who may speak different languages , which can cause slight difficulty when they cannot understand each other.
As a result
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,
people
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in both
countries
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are going to compete for the jobs and increasing the number of
professionals
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who travel for more chances and high salaries. In conclusion,in my opinion, the government should guide their
people
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and contract with enormous companies to invest in the poorer
countries
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.
However
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,
this
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situation created many troubles , so I think the beneficial solution is to attract and convince
people
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through their government to stay at home.

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task response
Answer both questions more clearly. Say the problems in poor countries and the solutions in separate clear parts.
task response
Give more direct ideas about the main problems, like lack of doctors, weak schools, and slower growth.
task response
Use better examples. Your examples are general, not very clear or specific.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one main idea only. Some ideas are mixed together now.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some parts like 'Such as' and 'As a result' do not fit well.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easier to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your own opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both problems and solutions.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Economic growth
  • Global inequality
  • Incentive programs
  • Capacity building
  • Reintegration programs
  • Workforce saturation
  • Skilled migration
  • Local services
  • Professional retention
  • Developing country
  • Developed country
  • Healthcare systems
  • Educational services
  • Career development opportunities
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