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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population of three cities, Jakarta, Sao Paulo, and Shanghai. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates the actual and predicted number of citizens of three different cities:
Jakarta
Use synonyms
, Shanghai, and
Sao
Use synonyms
Paulo
Use synonyms
, between 1990 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the actual
population
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figures
Use synonyms
 for
Jakarta
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,
Sao
Use synonyms
Paulo
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, and Shanghai experienced an increasing
tendency
Check wording
trend
show examples
 in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Sao
Use synonyms
Paulo
Use synonyms
 was the city which had the highest
population
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 over the time period with both actual and predicted
figures
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;
by contrast
Linking Words
,
Jakarta
Use synonyms
 stayed at the lowest position. As can be seen in the chart,
Sao
Use synonyms
Paulo
Use synonyms
's
population
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 remained the highest, accounting for around 17
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
This
Linking Words
 amount was expected to increase dramatically to 22
million
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 in 2000, but the actual
figures
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 were a little higher, with almost 25
million
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. Shanghai followed, with approximately 13
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990. Unlike
Sao
Use synonyms
Paulo
Use synonyms
, the number of citizens in
this
Linking Words
 city was predicted to have a slightly downward trend in 2000, with almost 11
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in fact, it dramatically increased and reached 15
million
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year.
Jakarta
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
population
Use synonyms
figures
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, with around 8
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990. As with
Use synonyms
Sao
Correct your spelling
São
Paulo
Use synonyms
, an upward trend of people living in
this
Linking Words
 city was predicted in 2000, with around 12
million
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, the actual
figures
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 year were a little higher, with almost 13
million
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words jakarta, sao, paulo, population, figures, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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