Some people think that living ịn big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the question
wether
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whether
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living in megapolises is bad for
people
Use synonyms
's health has
became
Wrong verb form
become
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widely debated. Some individuals
beliave
Correct your spelling
believe
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
Use synonyms
in the big city brings many opportunities and experiences,
while
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others believe that it harms their health. Personally, I agree with the
statemant
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statement
that the
bennefits
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benefits
of
the
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apply
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life
Use synonyms
in some major city
overweights
Verb problem
outweigh
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the disadvantages.
Firstly
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, it is
Correct article usage
an undenyeble
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undenyeble
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undeniable
fact
,
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apply
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that the air
pollusion
Correct your spelling
pollution
in the big cities is
stadily
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steadily
increasing every year.
However
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, it has a detrimental
impect
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impact
on food,
due to
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ground and water
pollusion
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Moreover
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,
humens
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humans
consume the chemicals that plants
ablorbe
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absorb
, and it
couses
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causes
a big
veriety
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variety
of
dessises
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diseases
,
such
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as allergies, heart
injeries
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injuries
,
diebities
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diabetes
and obesity.
Furthermore
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, a high level of
the
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apply
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air
polussion
Correct your spelling
pollution
can
couse
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cause
problems with
focuse
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focus
, and
aslo
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also
can lead to
the
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a
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significant
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
of energy. In my point of view, the
aforementiond
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aforementioned
reasons are quite
importaint
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important
for the general
well being
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well-being
show examples
, and it is a matter of
a
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apply
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choise
Correct your spelling
choice
and what aspects of
the
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apply
show examples
life
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individual
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an individual
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priorities
Use the right word
prioritises
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more.
Secondly
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, megapolises are presenting a major number of opportunities,
experienses
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experiences
and
edvantures
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adventures
.
The
Correct determiner usage
Life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
in the big city opens
planty
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plenty
of
the dores
Check wording
doors
show examples
, new
people
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and the feeling of
exeptance
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acceptance
that here
people
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can
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
who they want to be.
For instance
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, from my personal
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
I got the chance to compare the
life
Use synonyms
in both rural and urban areas, and it is completely different, but both of them are
beautifil
Correct your spelling
beautiful
in
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
own way.
Moreover
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, I feel like I became my true self in San
Fransisco
Use the right word
Francisco
show examples
, and I got an
increadible careare experiance
Correct your spelling
incredible career experience
that
also
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boosted me as a person and a
chace
Correct your spelling
chance
to travel across the world. I truly believe that
people
Use synonyms
should move towards the new
posibilities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
and be open to the changes because it is the things that fulfil our
life
Use synonyms
with happiness. In conclusion,
due to
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aforementioned reasons, I tend to agree with the
statemant
Correct your spelling
statement
that the advantages of the big cities overweight the small disadvantages.
However
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,
people
Use synonyms
can choose what they prioritise most
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
it is possible to have a balance and try to stay as healthy as
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
in the big cities.

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task response
Your view is clear. To lift the score, add more strong ideas and explain them with reasons. Also add a brief counter view and say why you still chose your stance.
coherence
Fix big spelling and grammar issues. Start each paragraph with a main sentence. Give one idea per paragraph with an example to back it up.
coherence
Link ideas with simple join words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however', 'for example'. Make the flow easy to follow.
task response
End with a clear finish that restates your view.
language
Keep word choice simple and short. Do not put many ideas in one line.
content
A clear view in the essay.
content
A real life example is used.
structure
There is a conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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