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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the average annual spending by university students in three different countries in 2007. It shows their total average spending and their spending on various different living costs.

The table provides information about the average annual spending of university
students
Use synonyms
 in three different countries, including their total expenditure and the percentage spent on several living costs.
Overall
Linking Words
, accommodation and food dominated
students
Use synonyms
’ expenditure in the three countries,
while
Linking Words
 smaller proportions of their budgets were allocated to books and leisure. In terms of total spending,
students
Use synonyms
 in
Country
Use synonyms
 A spent the most money, with the figure standing at US$5000 per year.
This
Linking Words
 amount was slightly higher compared with
Country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, where total expenditure was $4500.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 in
Country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 spent the least, at only $1500 annually. Regarding accommodation,
students
Use synonyms
 in
Country
Use synonyms
 A allocated the largest percentage, at 45%,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for
Country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and
Country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 stood at 35% and 30% respectively. For food,
Country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 had the largest proportion, at 36%, followed by
Country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 at 28%,
whereas
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
 A recorded a lower figure, at 22%. In terms of books,
Country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 again had the largest proportion, at 21%,
while
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 showed moderate spending in
this
Linking Words
 sector, at 9%, and
Country
Use synonyms
 A recorded the lowest, at just 3%. Turning to leisure,
Country
Use synonyms
 A and
Country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 showed moderate spending in
this
Linking Words
 sector, at 22% and 23% respectively,
while
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 spent the least, at 12%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, country, b, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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