IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Its
Use the right word
It's
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 widely believed that executives should not pay attention to the
uniform
Use synonyms
 of the staff,
instead
Linking Words
 they should
care
Use synonyms
 about the superiority of their
work
Use synonyms
. I disagree with that statement, because employees should somehow wear a special
uniform
Use synonyms
 in order to be distinguished from customers. Executives are the managers who should
care
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 about the politics of their workplace. In some unofficial places,
such
Linking Words
 as tiny restaurants and others, workers don’t put on special
clothes
Use synonyms
 at all.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, these types of places are respected by local residents. In most places, there are a lot of staff who
work
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 well regardless of their
clothes
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 partially, they don’t even
care
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 about that. Their core aim is to make money through their labour. Definitely, their boss encourages them to
work
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 hard by giving some special awards or bonuses, so as to keep productivity. Meaning they do let them
work
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 freely without any restraints
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most people reckon that only considering the quality of the
work
Use synonyms
 is the key option.
However
Linking Words
, it is not actually true. Most renowned companies have their own special outfit that could be recognised by every single individual.
In other words
Linking Words
, these
clothes
Use synonyms
 are the face and the reputation of the company. Unless there is be specific style, clients may
confused
Verb problem
be confused
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 and even hesitate to ask for help, thinking that they are customers too.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, wearing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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special attire is written in the law. It is said that workers should put on their working
uniform
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in California, nearly 90% of workers wear their
uniform
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, and their income is stable. Since technology has helped people a lot by replacing tough and detrimental jobs,
making
Wrong verb form
it has made
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 it easier for staff to
work
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 effortlessly. In conclusion, technology has a potential benefit in the workplace, making their
work
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 more productive. That’s why bosses should
care
Use synonyms
 about the
clothes
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 of employees, in order to stabilise
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Since these are the resemblance of the company, managers should navigate it seamlessly

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Answer the full question more directly. Say why you disagree, and also show to what extent.
task response
Use examples that fit the topic better. Some parts, like technology, do not support your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some ideas jump too fast and are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph match your essay better. The end should sum up your view about dress at work, not move to a new point.
task response
You give a clear opinion: you mostly disagree with the statement.
task response
You try to add examples about real work places and companies.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like on the other hand, for instance, and in conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
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