IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the South Wing of Walton Museum in 2008 and in 2012 after it was developed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons relevant.

Two maps depict the layout of the
museum
Use synonyms
 called
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
 Wing of Walton in 2008, and
revolutioned
Replace the word
a revised
show examples
 version of it in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
museum
Use synonyms
 had experienced drastic changes after 4 years
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 new amenities were created , and new floors were added to the plan. In 208, there was a slope-shaped pathway which was leading to the
entrance
Use synonyms
 of the
museum
Use synonyms
. The
entrance
Use synonyms
 led to the second
floor
Use synonyms
 of the
museum
Use synonyms
. The first
room
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 came right next to the
entrance
Use synonyms
, was the reception. After that, the reading
room
Use synonyms
 was situated there. Whilst
he
Use the right word
the
show examples
 stairs led to two rooms on the first
floor
Use synonyms
, on the right side, there was a
cloaks
Fix the agreement mistake
cloak
show examples
room
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 on the left side, the shop was positioned. In the left corner of the
museum
Use synonyms
, a special exhibition
room
Use synonyms
 was located in front of the shop. By 2012, the
museum
Use synonyms
changed
Verb problem
had changed
show examples
 completely and new facilities and floors were added. The
entrance
Use synonyms
 was converted into an
entrance
Use synonyms
 hall. As before, the
entrance
Use synonyms
 led to the second
floor
Use synonyms
 .
Additionally
Linking Words
, the cloak
room
Use synonyms
 was integrated with the reception.
However
Linking Words
, the reading
room
Use synonyms
 stayed unchanged. The stairs were removed completely , and a lift was constructed
instead
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the first
floor
Use synonyms
 was enlarged in height and shortened in altitude.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Children's
Correct article usage
a Children's
show examples
 play area
constructed
Verb problem
was constructed
show examples
. On the third
floor
Use synonyms
, the restaurant and self-service
room
Use synonyms
 were created. On the fourth
floor
Use synonyms
, another exhibition
room
Use synonyms
 was situated.

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task response
Write a clearer overview. Say the main changes in one or two lines.
task response
Report the biggest changes first, then add small details.
task response
Use more correct map words like left, right, next to, above, and below.
task response
Some points are not exact or are hard to understand. Check each room and floor very carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas by year or by area of the map. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like overall, in 2008, by 2012, on the left, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid sentences that are too long. Shorter sentences can be clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You gave an introduction and an overview.
task response
You mentioned many key changes, like the lift, new rooms, and entrance hall.
task response
You tried to compare 2008 and 2012.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraph breaks.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like overall, additionally, and however.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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