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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Grandparents take care of the children when their parents are out at work. What are the advantages and possible disadvantages of this?

In many families,
grandparents
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 take care of
children
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 when their parents are at work.
This
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 situation has both advantages and disadvantages. One major advantage is that
grandparents
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 can provide love, care, and attention to the
children
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. Since they are experienced in raising
children
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, they often know how to handle different situations.
Moreover
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,
children
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 can learn family traditions, values, and respect from their
grandparents
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. Another benefit is that parents can save money because they do not need to pay for babysitters or daycare services.
However
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages.
Grandparents
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 may be too old to handle very active
children
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, which can make childcare physically difficult for them.
In addition
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, there might be differences in parenting styles between
grandparents
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 and parents.
For example
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,
grandparents
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 may be more lenient and spoil the
children
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, which could affect the child’s
behavior
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behaviour
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 and discipline. In conclusion,
while
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grandparents
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’ childcare can provide emotional support and financial benefits for families, it may
also
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 create challenges
due to
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 age and differences in parenting approaches.

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task response
Add one more clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger and more full.
task response
Explain your main points a little more. Some ideas are good, but they are short.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more varied way, like also, on the other hand, and as a result.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph grow from one main idea with one clear support.
task response
You answer both the good and bad sides of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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