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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003 are shown in the bar chart below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the average costs per kilometre of clothing which is imported into the European Union from six different countries, namely
Argentina
Use synonyms
, Brazil, Japan, China, India and
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
, between 1993 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Argentina
Use synonyms
 was the country which had the highest average
price
Use synonyms
 per kilometre of clothing in both years
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
,
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
 had the lowest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the average
price
Use synonyms
 of
Argentina
Use synonyms
 and Brazil experienced a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 in 2003,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for China, India and
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
 showed to upward
trend
Use synonyms
. As can be seen in the graph, the average cost per kilometre of clothing in
Argentina
Use synonyms
 was the highest , accounting for almost 28
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993.
This
Linking Words
price
Use synonyms
 dropped slightly to 26
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993. It was followed by Brazil with nearly 24
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993 , and it remained the same until 2003. Another country that had the same upward
trend
Use synonyms
 as
Argentina
Use synonyms
 was Japan , with 15
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993 and gradually decreasing to approximately 14
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2003.
In contrast
Linking Words
, China experienced a dramatic increase in the average
price
Use synonyms
 , with around 17
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2003, which was more than 7
pounds
Use synonyms
 compared to the 1993
price
Use synonyms
. India had the same
trend
Use synonyms
. It was almost 7
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993,
then
Linking Words
 grew significantly in 2003 and reached nearly 13
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the lowest figure belonged to
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
 , which accounted for about 2.5
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993.
This
Linking Words
price
Use synonyms
 rose to more than 5
pounds
Use synonyms
 after 10 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words argentina, bangladesh, price, trend, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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