IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that individuals who commit serious crimes should not be released from prison. To what extent do you agree?

The main purpose of a prison should be to rehabilitate
individuals
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have committed serious crimes, not to punish these
individuals
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 by giving them
life
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sentences
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain why I strongly disagree with the notion that
life
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sentences
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 should be given out to
individuals
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 who have committed serious crimes, as
life
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sentences
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perpetrate
Use the right word
perpetuate
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 criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the only way to truly reduce the crime rate is to focus on
rehabilitation
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 rather than punishment. Every human being has the right to experience freedom, even if they have broken major laws in the past. Of course,
this
Linking Words
 is not to say we shouldn't be lenient on major offenders;
however
Linking Words
, keeping them in prison for
life
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 would not help solve the greater problem. When a person is given a
life
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 sentence, it essentially
dehumanizes
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dehumanises
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 them and deems them unfit for society. They assume that they will never experience the comfort or normalcy that a
life
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 outside of prison brings,
hence
Linking Words
 why they give into their criminal urges and can never be truly rehabilitated. Many high-security
prisons
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 across the world contain many
prisoners
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 who are either serving
life
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sentences
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 or are on death row, and many of these
prisons
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 have gangs operating behind bars and violence that occurs daily. These
prisoners
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,
due to
Linking Words
 their current situation, think that they have nothing to lose
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and participate in the constant cycle of violence that many of these institutions face.
Prisoners
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 should be kept in
prisons
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 only until they are fully rehabilitated, as it ensures that they are ready to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 of society once more.
Rehabilitation
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 would be substantially more beneficial to
prisoners
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, as it offers them a chance at redemption. Through
rehabilitation
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,
prisoners
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 will learn how they can be contributing members of their community and avoid the patterns that
initially
Linking Words
 turned them into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
prisons
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 in Norway are designed to be
acommodating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
 and beneficial toward
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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prisoners
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. They offer educational services, job training, and recreational activities. By
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 method of
rehabilitation
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, Norway successfully keeps its crime rate low
,
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apply
show examples
 and ensures that
individuals
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 once imprisoned will not become repeat offenders. In conclusion, I believe that
life
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sentences
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 are an unjust way of dealing with criminals
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and that
rehabilitation
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 should be
prioritized
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prioritised
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 to create a safe environment for citizens and former
prisoners
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 alike. As
rehabilitation
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humanizes
Change the spelling
humanises
show examples
prisoners
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 and eliminates the chance of repeat offenders, it is the best way of keeping the peace in many countries.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear, but the first line says prison should rehabilitate people, while the task asks if serious criminals should never be let out. Make your position match the question more directly from the start.
task response
Task response: You give a strong view and keep it through the essay. To get a higher score, also show why some people support life sentences, then explain why your view is stronger.
task response
Task response: Your Norway example is good and fits the topic. Add one more direct example about serious crime to make your ideas feel more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, 2 body parts, and end. This helps the reader follow your ideas well.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most links are clear, but some lines are long and carry many ideas at once. Break them into shorter parts so each main point stands out.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The first body part moves from rights, to prison life, to gang violence. These ideas are linked, but the path is a bit wide. Start the paragraph with one clear main point and keep all support close to it.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use words like 'however', 'for instance', and 'in conclusion' well. To improve, use a few more simple linking words like 'first', 'also', and 'because' to show steps in your argument.
task response
Task response: You answer the question clearly and your main view is easy to see.
task response
Task response: Your example about Norway is relevant and helps support your view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay is well organized with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has a main job, which makes the essay easy to follow.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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