IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the government should be responsible for transporting students to school, while others believe that parents should bring their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few humans believe that states should be responsible for taking
children's
Check wording
children
show examples
 to school and back because it's safe
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
and under government undertaking,
although
Linking Words
 others consider that
parents
Use synonyms
 should perform
this
Linking Words
task
Use synonyms
 as they would get more time to spend with their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. Through
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I would argue that
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 is better than
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
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 because it's
more safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
 and operated by experienced drivers. On the one hand, taking kids to learning
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 every day is always
challenge
Correct article usage
a challenge
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 as it is a serious
task
Use synonyms
 and
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be handled with extreme care.
Few
Correct article usage
A few
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 kids are mischievous and slow learners
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they need active supervision.
Therefore
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, ensuring smooth pick up and drop off is the essential part of their commute to school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 no one can do
this
Linking Words
 job better than experienced drivers and conductors. Not only does
this
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 ensure their safety and
well being
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
, but
also
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ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
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 that they arrive
to
Change preposition
at to
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 institute on time.
For example
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 India
through
Punctuation problem
, through
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 recent surveys
experts
Punctuation problem
, experts
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told
Wrong verb form
have said
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 that there was
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
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 reduction in
minors
Fix the agreement mistake
minor
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 accidents as compared to
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 five years because they were monitored and driven by professional drivers. On the
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
other hand,
parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
this
Linking Words
task
Use synonyms
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
they
Check wording
time they
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 get time to spend with their
son
Fix the agreement mistake
sons
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 and daughters.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 are often going through
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 heavy
work loads
Use the right word
workloads
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, rushing to work
due to
Linking Words
 traffic, and arguments with partners
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
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 may lead to
distracting
Replace the word
distracted
show examples
 driving.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 it can be dangerous for all passengers if they
loose
Use the right word
lose
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 their focus
due to
Linking Words
 personal issues. Since they already
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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 exhausted
due to
Linking Words
 ongoing
work related
Use the right word
work-related
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responsibilities
Punctuation problem
responsibilities,
show examples
 they should assign
this
Linking Words
task
Use synonyms
 to others for
Correct article usage
the wellbeing
show examples
wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 of everyone. In conclusion,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should be
reprehensible
Correct word choice
responsible
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 for driving young kids to school because it offers more protection and security,
while
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 should not juggle their professional and personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 as it can lead to disruption and dangerous driving.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear, but the side for parents is short and not fully built.
task response
Give one or two more clear ideas for each side. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Use examples that are easy to trust. Your India example is helpful, but it needs clearer detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Some parts like 'On the one other hand' are not natural.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word choice so the meaning is always clear.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear paragraph plan.
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