IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that individuals can do little to improve the environment, and that governments and large companies should be responsible for solving environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a common opinion that
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 affect on enviroment changes and only authorities and large companies can addres that problems.I firmly agree with
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 position because individuals
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough resources and capability to make dramatic improvements.
Firstly
Linking Words
,humans have limited
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
such
Linking Words
 as time , money and influence.
Mediocre
Correct article usage
A mediocre
show examples
 person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 six hours of leisure time per
one
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
weekday.
That
Fix the agreement mistake
Those
show examples
 six hours are not completely free and usually
ocupied
Correct your spelling
occupied
 with
choirs
Correct your spelling
chores
 and other deals.Only some
people
Use synonyms
Verb problem
are
show examples
ready to
sacrafice
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
 it in
name
Correct article usage
the name
show examples
 of saving nature.Even if they
ready
Verb problem
are ready
show examples
 to devote
valubale
Correct your spelling
valuable
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 they can not do much.They could start
sort
Verb problem
sorting
show examples
 their garbage or organise
cleaning
Correct article usage
the cleaning
show examples
 of
nearest
Correct article usage
the nearest
show examples
 park zone.
As a result
Linking Words
 the will have three garbage bins
indead
Correct your spelling
instead of
 one and a pile of waste collected from the park.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
,they
Use synonyms
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 recycle it because
this
Linking Words
a
Verb problem
is a
show examples
comitment
Correct your spelling
commitment
 of specific fabrics
contoled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by big companies and restricted with govertment's laws.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,the
bigest
Correct your spelling
biggest
 environmental problem is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming.The
bigest
Correct your spelling
biggest
 cause of global warming is
harmfull emisions
Correct your spelling
harmful emissions
 of carbon dioxide from internal combustion engines and fabrics into atmposhere.Only a government can prevent it.Nobody except authorities can enforce
businesess
Correct your spelling
businesses
 to use more
ecofriendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
 materials or install sophisticated air filters on production
sitec
Correct your spelling
sites
.Only
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can encourage
citezens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 to replace gas cars
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 electric
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
.Because
people
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 want to give up their comfort.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 driven with
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuel
forse
Correct your spelling
forces
 are much
convinier
Correct your spelling
more convenient
 since
infrastructe
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 for them
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more developed .
People
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 create widespead system of charging
while
Linking Words
 lawmakers can. In conclusion,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion individual who believe that they
Use synonyms
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
solving environmental problems are right.Indead they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have a
levers
Fix the agreement mistake
lever
show examples
 of influence on
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all troubles -
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
 corporation.The only way
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they can improve
suroindings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
 is a descending of overconsumption culture.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly how much you agree, and also show why some people think people can help.
task response
Add one short example in each body part. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your ideas step by step. Some points are good, but they need a little more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. A few parts feel hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use two main body parts, and each one has one main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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