IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, eating healthy food is difficult.Do you agree or disagree

In contemporary society, there is an ongoing debate about whether maintaining a nutritious
diet
Use synonyms
 has a number of challenges than vice versa.
While
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 many people find it challenging to sustain healthy eating patterns, I firmly believe that it would be easier by utilising healthy tracking devices and following advice from qualified
experts
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. ​Admittedly, there are several complications in maintaining a healthy
diet
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. First and foremost, staying healthy is becoming increasingly difficult
due to
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 processed foods and a sedentary lifestyle, because most
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 are used to consuming unhealthy foods,
such
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 as fast food.
Apart from
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this
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, busy individuals may prefer to eat high-protein cuisine, including brochette, toasty, and somsa, which, in turn, makes them suffer from problems of obesity. ​Despite the factors mentioned above, I strongly trust that maintaining a healthy
diet
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 can become easier with some actions.
Firstly
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, there are many modern tools which help to lose weight and keep fit.
Also
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, people can use these instruments in different places.
As a result
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, individuals can achieve opportunities of maintaining healthy eating habits.
Secondly
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, people can improve their healthy eating habits by following the
experts
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' counselling.
For instance
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, foods recommended by
experts
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 help society maintain a healthy
diet
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. ​In conclusion,
although
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 nowadays maintaining healthy eating habits is complicated because of various unhealthy cuisines, I am in favour of the fact that if
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 can exercise with constant physical activities
as well as
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 obey
experts
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' advice, they may maintain their healthy eating
conduct
Check wording
habits
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why you agree or disagree in each main part.
task response
Use ideas that match the topic all the time. Some parts talk about losing weight, but the topic is about healthy food being difficult.
task response
Give one or two real and clear examples. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. But some links between ideas are weak.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only. This will help the reader follow your thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Some words and phrases are not natural or clear. Use simple and direct linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You cover both sides before giving support for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has four clear paragraphs, and this helps the reader.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like first and secondly to organize ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • lifestyles
  • long working hours
  • prepare meals
  • Regular consumption
  • health issues
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • high levels
  • sugars
  • fats
  • salts
  • economic factors
  • cheaper
  • healthier meal options
  • low-income families
  • students
  • cultural influence
  • global expansion
  • adapting menus
  • local tastes
  • integrating
  • environmental concerns
  • packaging waste
  • carbon footprints
  • meat production
  • traditional cuisine
  • decline
  • culinary heritage
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