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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. compare adventages of two different ways. which do you think is prefable? use specific examples.

Some individuals consider that the best way of learning about
life
Use synonyms
 is by listening to the
advise
Replace the word
advice
 of
famili
Correct your spelling
family
 and
friends
Punctuation problem
friends,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe that the best way of learning about
life
Use synonyms
 is through personal experience. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 listening advises of adults who are
wisdom
Replace the word
wise
 and
already
Verb problem
have already
show examples
 saw push and ups of
life
Use synonyms
 is beneficial. They can give
advises
Replace the word
advice
 from their experiences
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
mistakes . They want us to be happy and
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not feel
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 pain from making mistakes .
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 they often give good suggestions about
real
Correct your spelling
real-life
life
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 situations
and
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, and
show examples
 when youngsters want to start
something
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something,
show examples
 they
surrly
Correct your spelling
surely
 ask advise from them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 they saw a lot of hardships , problems
and
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, and
show examples
 they definitely know how to overcome them . Their advises are good and crucial for us and
be
Verb problem
will be
show examples
 helpful in many cases .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 we believe in
words
Correct article usage
the words
show examples
 our elders say , and often think
them
Change preposition
about
show examples
 what they would do in
such
Linking Words
situatins
Correct your spelling
situations
 and rely
them
Change preposition
on them
show examples
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , not everyone is wise and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 conclusions from their mistakes to give you
advise
Replace the word
advice
. Some adults can be in the same line as you , and don't think better than you. Relying only on them is
also
Linking Words
 a crucial mistake
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 everyone should have their opinions and choices .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 you see older
people
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 he thinks even worse than you can
think
Punctuation problem
think,
show examples
 they simply have not become wise yet.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 by dealing with problems and
difficulties
Punctuation problem
difficulties,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 start to think better and become stronger . If one
has
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not their ability to think about their own needs ,
he
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 simply become addicted to
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 help .
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I consider that listening to
advises
Replace the word
the advice
 and suggestions of older
people
Use synonyms
 is beneficial
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not every time . Everyone should learn how to overcome the problems by
himself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 and should not let
to
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 define them . In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 may listen to the words of adults
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 having personal experience and learning things by
himself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 is important.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Compare both ways in a more equal way, then give your choice with strong reasons.
task response
Use clearer examples. Your ideas are often general, so add one real and simple example for each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Some parts repeat the same point in different words.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, because, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. At times the meaning is hard to follow.
task response
You answered the main question and gave your opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both sides of the topic.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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