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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should begin their formal educatiom at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether starting formal education from an early
age
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 or not,
this
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 argument has a lot of points of view. For me, I strongly agree to educate
children
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 from an early
age
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 for multiple aspects.
Firstly
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,
children
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 at their youngest have a lot of practical
skills
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, and a lot of effort can be applied to them to improve. Of course, I agree to educate them in all sections from their youngest
age
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 to develop their
skills
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 in a practical way. Kids from an early
age
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 focus on body language, which is forgotten when they grow up;
therefore
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, focusing on keeping these kinds of
skills
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 is essential. As they grow, these
skills
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 are permanently with them, and for
this
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, I would consistently support educating my
children
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 from a young
age
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, formally in their classes and officially in schools.
Secondly
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, which is really common, most people don't know the value of their
children
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 being taught.
In other words
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, being able to educate your
children
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 in a certain way is very critical for their personal growth.
However
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, parents who educate their
children
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 from a late
age
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 do not associate with the modern world nowadays, and
this
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 argument
also
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 encourages teaching and caring for
children
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 from a young
age
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, formally in schools. In conclusion, I would recommend
parents
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that parents
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 all around the world care about their
children
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 and educate them formally in schools and educational places;
moreover
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,
this
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 is going to be very beneficial for their
children
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 permanently.

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task response
Talk about both sides. Now you mostly support early school, but you do not really explain why some people want children to start at age 7 or later.
task response
Give your opinion clearly, but also compare the two views in the body paragraphs.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it with a simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and end, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, like 'from a young age' and 'formally in schools'. Try not to say the same point many times.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main point and enough support, because some parts are too general.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You stay on the topic of children and education all the way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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