IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Medical professionals such as doctors and nurses from poorer countries migrate to richer countries. What problems arise Frome this situation? What are the solutions to these problems?

Nowadays, many doctors and nurses choose to relocate from developing
countries
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 to wealthier
land
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lands
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 in order to find better salaries and working conditions.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 decision can improve their personal life, it
also
Linking Words
 creates a serious
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
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 for
healthcare
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systems
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 in low-income
countries
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. One of the main problems is a lack of medical
stuff
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staff
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 in poorer
countries
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. When many specialists leave, hospitals do not have enough qualified workers to treat patients.
As a result
Linking Words
, people may experience longer waiting
time
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times
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 and limited access to
healthcare
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.
This
Linking Words
 issue is particularly serious in low-income
countries
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 where
healthcare
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systems
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 are already under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure and resources are limited. In some rural areas of economically poor states , it may even become difficult to find any medical professional at all. To solve
this
Linking Words
 issue, policymakers in developing
countries
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 should improve working conditions and provide better salaries for medical workers. If experts receive fair pay, modern equipment and professional opportunities, they may be more likely to stay in their motherland.
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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 prosperous states could aid low-income
countries
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 by investing in
healthcare
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systems
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, offering valuable partnerships that help strengthen medical services. In conclusion, migration of medical professionals from developing
countries
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 to wealthier nations can lead to serious shortages in
healthcare
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systems
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.
However
Linking Words
, by improving working conditions and encouraging international cooperation,
government
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the government
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 can reduce these negative consequences and improve medical services for
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 residents.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the problem well, but the solutions part is a bit short.
task response
Add one clear example for a poor country or a rural area. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain how each solution works. For example, say how better pay can help doctors stay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: intro, problems, solutions, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, like 'As a result' and 'However', but add a few more to show steps between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea fully supported. The problem paragraph is stronger than the solution paragraph.
task response
You answer the topic and stay on it all through the essay.
task response
You show one main problem clearly: poor countries lose doctors and nurses.
task response
You also give solutions, so your response is complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas connect in a clear way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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