IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

This
Linking Words
line
Correct article usage
The line
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 chart provides key information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that
ether
Use the right word
either
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 opened or closed between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
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, it is clear from the graph that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 were opened in 2011,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
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 they were the lowest
number
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
was opened.
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While
Linking Words
 closed
shops
Use synonyms
 started with a lower proportion, they were the highest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in 2018.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the
number
Use synonyms
 of shop openings was at its peak in 2011, with almost 8500
then
Linking Words
 a dramatic decline occurred from 2011 to 2018, with almost 4000. In terms of the
number
Use synonyms
 of shop closures was started with 6,000, reaching its peak in 2013 with more than 7000. Between 2014 and 2015, there was a substantial decrease to less than 1000 closed
shops
Use synonyms
,
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then
Rephrase
apply
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followed by a steady increase to around 5000 closed
shops
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2018.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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