IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
Change preposition
From a
show examples
 few individual
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
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,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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children should follow regulations and pay attention to their guardians and instructors;
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
some
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 think that less
manage
Replace the word
management
 will assist youngsters handle
with
Change preposition
apply
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their adulthood. In my opinion,
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 should listen to their
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 advice properly and follow
their
Fix the agreement mistake
it
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 for their personal growth and build
up
Correct determiner usage
a
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 career .
While
Linking Words
 some parents
too much focus
Correct word order
focus too much
show examples
 on their
children
Punctuation problem
children,
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 that's the cause lack of confidence.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Now you give your view, but the other side is only touched a little.
task response
Add one clear main idea for each side, then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Write a full conclusion that repeats your view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer order: introduction, one paragraph for side 1, one paragraph for side 2, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete and easy to follow. Some parts now are hard to understand.
task response
You give your opinion, so the reader knows your main view.
task response
You mention both parents and teachers, which fits the topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic start, body idea, and ending idea.
coherence and cohesion
You try to connect two different views in one answer.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discipline
  • Autonomy
  • Independency
  • Creativity
  • Conformity
  • Rebelliousness
  • Maturation
  • Guidance
  • Cognitive development
  • Protector
  • Evaluator
  • Boundaries
  • Negotiation
  • Empowerment
  • Self-discipline
  • Regulatory guidelines
  • Flexibility
  • Adaptation
  • Socio-emotional skills
  • Decision-making process
  • Moral compass
  • Real-world challenges
  • Controlled environment
What to do next:
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