IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Costomers
Correct your spelling
Customers
 can get worldwide
food
Use synonyms
 easily from stores in many countries today. Despite the fact that there are some
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 about
this
Linking Words
 issue, I firmly agree that
this
Linking Words
phenomonon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 is a positive development. On the one hand, people genuinely believe that importing foreign items from different places is a waste of earth resource. When they have to deliver products from one country to another, those products must undergo multiple procedures, and that leads to unessential wastes.
For example
Linking Words
,
import
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
 special cheese from
european
Fix capitalization
European
show examples
 countries requires commercial ships or even a plane to carry it, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 extra carbon
emmision
Correct your spelling
emissions
 and
harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
show examples
 the environment.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that getting access to
food
Use synonyms
 from different countries benefits us in certain
degrees
Fix the agreement mistake
degree
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
 because people who live a normal life can rarely travel
through
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the
world
Use synonyms
 to experience
food
Use synonyms
 from all over the
world
Use synonyms
. Yet, by getting them from supermarkets, they can enjoy without actually
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to another place. There are areas
particularly
Correct pronoun usage
that particularly
show examples
 serve
import
Replace the word
imported
food
Use synonyms
 in
supermarket
Check wording
supermarkets
show examples
 nowadays,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Korean noodles, Dutch cheese, and
Dannish
Correct your spelling
Danish
 chips. Just a visit
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these local shops,
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 can have fresh experiences of uncommon
food
Use synonyms
 from their
usually
Replace the word
usual
 life.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are some discussions about
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and
disadventages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
such
Linking Words
 development of the
world
Use synonyms
, I side with the
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 that it is a positive development for consumers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can buy
food
Use synonyms
 produced from the other side of the
world
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the convenience of
lifesyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 that can connect with the
world
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body paragraph.
task response
Explain why your second point is positive in a deeper way.
task response
Use examples with clearer detail and link them to your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but some sentences feel hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects smoothly to the next one.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include both sides and then choose one side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like On the one hand, Nevertheless, and To sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: