IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables compare the turnover generated by the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bananas with a certain label.
Sales
Use synonyms
 were recorded in millions of
euros
Use synonyms
 in 5 European countries in 1999 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the revenue created from the two products increased in general in the given period
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the UK and Switzerland being the clear leaders. Switzerland generated twice
more
Correct determiner usage
as much
show examples
 money in
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in 1999
than
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 the UK.
However
Linking Words
, the UK’s
sales
Use synonyms
 increased exponentially in 2004
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 20
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
, compared to Switzerland’s 6
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the other three countries didn’t participate much in
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 and sold around 1 and 1.5
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 worth of
coffee
Use synonyms
 in 1999 and
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
 respectively. In comparison to
coffee
Use synonyms
, bananas generally made more money in
sales
Use synonyms
. 15
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 worth of bananas were sold in Switzerland in 1999, which was 5 times higher than the biggest number of
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in that same year. On top of that, Switzerland’s banana
sales
Use synonyms
 almost tripled in 2004
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 the
all time
Correct your spelling
all-time
 high number of 47
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
. The UK fell far behind with modest
sales
Use synonyms
 of 1 and 5.5
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 in two years
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Sweden and Denmark,
however
Linking Words
, stood out as countries whose banana
sales
Use synonyms
 decreased in 5 years by about 50% from around 2
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 each.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, euros, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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