The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been pointed out that taking part in team
sports
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at educational institutions is the most effective means of learning how to collaborate with others for a child. Personally, I thoroughly disagree with
this
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idea
due to
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the fierce competition and limited resources at school. First of all, the strong competitive atmosphere among pupils is detrimental to the development of teamwork skills. The reason is that when joining training sessions and games, youngsters always compete with their teammates to demonstrate their high level of enthusiasm and abilities to their coaches in order to secure a position in their club, which weakens the spirit of cooperation.
For instance
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, a massive number of parents who wanted to develop their sons and daughters’ teamwork skills by participating in school
sports
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clubs complain that the competition among peers is extremely intense, which has undermined the meaning of teams, leading to poor collaboration.
Furthermore
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, limited resources at educational establishments can be a major obstacle for students to learn how to cooperate with classmates.
This
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is because building a
sports
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team normally requires a great deal of funding to hire well-qualified coaches and purchase facilities, which provides young people with proper facilities and professional guidance.
However
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, a huge proportion of institutions lack sufficient funding, which harms the development of cooperation. As an illustration, several professional coaches who were teaching ice hockey at high schools in Canada suggest that playing ice hockey is a great way to learn how to collaborate with your teammates.
However
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,
due to
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the lack of funding in their schools, their teams have been disbanded, so young individuals miss a valuable opportunity to learn cooperation. In conclusion,
although
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people may vary in their opinions about whether participating in school team
sports
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clubs is the best method to teach children teamwork skills, I am of the opinion that
this
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is not the best way, as schools normally have strong competitions and limited
sports
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resources.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but you should explain more why other ways may teach children to work together better than sports.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic, but some support is too general. Try to add one more clear and real example for each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is good. Still, some sentences are long and a bit hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some links are good, but too many long phrases make the flow less natural.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea, then explain it in a simple step-by-step way.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and match each other well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each body paragraph has a clear topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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