IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is

Dear Sir, I am
Writing
Fix capitalization
writing
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 you
this
Linking Words
 letter in regards to
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
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 some information about your Gym.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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 wish to know about the prices for both monthly and yearly memberships
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 will decide on the commitment depending on the prices. I
also
Linking Words
 want to
about
Verb problem
know about
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 the possibility
to get
Change preposition
of getting
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 the student discount, as
i
Verb problem
I am
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 currently studying in a college.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would like to learn about the different activities or classes provided by your
organization
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organisation
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. I am eager to make myself strong and healthy. So,
i
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I
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 am particularly interested in joining Boxing
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
Kick Boxing Classes
Correct your spelling
kickboxing classes
,
Which
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which
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 will help
to
Correct pronoun usage
me
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 learn
self defence
Correct your spelling
self-defence
.
In Addition
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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 wish to know about the steps or other requirement in joining the gym. I will try to keep all my
of
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apply
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documents up to date and explain about my medical history, or medication list if necessary. I
forward
Verb problem
look forward
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 to joining your Gym. Your faithfully, Prabhjot Singh Gill

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some points need more detail and clearer purpose.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite and clear tone, for example 'I am writing to ask about your gym membership options.'
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a good order, but some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'so', and 'finally'.
task response
Task response: You cover membership, price, activities, and joining steps.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, middle, and end.
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