obesity is becoming major problem in many countries. what are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve this.

In recent years, we have witnessed that
,
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health concerns
due to
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excessive weight are becoming common globally, which is affecting both children and adults. In
this
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essay, we will discuss why
this
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is the case
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and
also
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look at various ways to handle
this
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. First of all,
this
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is because of a lack of physical activities among youth, and more options for unhealthy
food
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. The global rise in technology has attracted youth to spend more time on mobile phones rather than going out and playing a sport.
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, nowadays, school students prefer to connect and play games online in their leisure
instead
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of following a physical routine , which could help them to stay fit and active.
Moreover
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, junk
food
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is common among children,
although
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outside
food
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is tasty,
but
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the fact that it is processed with unhealthy ingredients should not be ignored.
However
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, there are numerous ways to handle
this
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issue. First and most important is
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promoting a healthy lifestyle. Schools and universities should keep a mandatory class for sports, which will ensure that everyone is engaged in a daily physical activity, and playing a sport daily will
also
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help in building muscle, which is necessary for maintaining a proper body weight.
In addition
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, parents and the government should encourage healthy
food
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habits.
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, restaurant chains offering high-protein meals should be promoted, and parents should teach the benefits of making better lifestyle choices.
To conclude
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, even though the government can help promote healthy
food
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, I believe that teachers and parents should take greater responsibility for making their kids'
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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better.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain causes well, but the fixes need one more clear idea.
task response
Use more direct examples to support each main point.
task response
Keep your main idea clear in each paragraph and link it back to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and a bit hard to follow. Make them shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a natural way. Do not add too many commas.
task response
You answer both causes and solutions, so the task is covered.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to understand most of the time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has good paragraphing with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like First of all, Moreover, However, and To conclude.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
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