Scientists are doing experiments on live animals for the purpose of research nowadays. Do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantgaes?

Thousands of live animals have been sacrificed in many scientific laboratories in the name of science for over a hundred years. These
experiments
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have been criticized among
people
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, and I personally
sympathize
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sympathise
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with the loss of innocent
lives
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. Having said
that
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that,
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I
also
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believe that these tests being conducted contribute to longer human
lives
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compared to the past.
First,
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thanks to live animal
experiments
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,
people
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have been able to live longer. Notorious diseases, known as the Black
death
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Death
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and
such
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, have been overcome due largely to these practices. Thousands of
people
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lost their
lives
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before the invention of vaccines. These vaccinations were invented in scientific laboratories with the
number
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use
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of live animal
experiments
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. Were it not for medical purposes, many
people
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would lose their
lives
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and would suffer from these diseases today.
For example
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, the outbreak of
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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, scientists developed new
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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vaccines in no time with existing accumulated data from the past.
As a result
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, many citizens saved their
lives
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through vaccinations.
Therefore
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,
experiments
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using animals could help human beings in the past, now and even
the
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in the
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future. What we should not forget is
there
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that there
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were thousands of live animals’ deaths to develop safer medications.
Then
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, why
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people
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do people
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criticize
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criticise this? It
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this
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is that there are alternative ways to test drug safety, meaning that these
experiments
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are no longer necessary. The advancement of technology enables scientists to do
experiments
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using artificial tissues and using Artificial Intelligence to
analyze
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analyse
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the predicted side effects. Another criticism the tests encountered is that the test results are not fully reliable since the structures of animals and the human body are totally different, meaning that the test results are not proven to apply to the human body. Mice share a lot of similar organ structures;
however
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, the side effects of the medicine cannot be predicted through the tests.
For example
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, Covid-19 vaccinations side effects were not found in animal
experiments
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,
while
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it largely affects human immune systems.
Consequently
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, live animal
experiments
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are widely blamed.
To conclude
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,
although
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there are several criticisms about live animal
experiments
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, I personally believe that the value of humans’
lives
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far outweighs criticisms of live animal
experiments
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since humans’
lives
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are of
the highest
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higher
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value than animals’
lives
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and
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, and
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these
experiments
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shortened
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have shortened
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the course of the development of technologies.

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task response
Make your main answer more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the advantages are greater than the disadvantages.
task response
Explain your second body paragraph more carefully. Now it gives the other side, but it does not fully show why your view is still stronger.
task response
Use examples with more care. Some examples are useful, but a few points are too general or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and link it clearly to your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences sometimes. A few long sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words. Words like 'First', 'However', 'Therefore', and 'To conclude' are good, but some links inside paragraphs are weak.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples like vaccines and Covid-19 to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
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