Art is consider an crusial part of society however people turn more to businness technology sience. Why is that ? What can be done to encourage more people to tkae intrest in art?

Although

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art

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is an essential part of society, the younger generation seems to focus more on business,

technology

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, and science.

This

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shift is understandable, as the world is increasingly moving in

this

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direction, creating more job opportunities in these fields.

Technology

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in particular

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, is well-funded and promising in terms of future prospects, making it no surprise that young people seek a good life by pursuing careers in these areas.

Furthermore

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, today's youth are exposed to

technology

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at increasingly younger ages; even babies know how to use smartphones. It appears that

technology

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will soon be everywhere. So, what can be done to encourage more interest in

art

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This

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is a very important question. I believe that it should start in education and early childhood.

Creativity

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is valuable, and the government should

emphasize

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emphasise

show examples

the importance of

art

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in schools. Everyone needs to understand that fields like science, business, or

technology

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could not exist without

creativity

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, which is a crucial component.

Creativity

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, fostered through

art

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, encourages new ideas, leading to advancements in various fields. In conclusion, it is essential for everyone to

recognize

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recognise

show examples

and value

creativity

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and

art

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for the significant role they play in our society.

iwonagosz6

Mar 15, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You say why young people choose science, business, and technology, but your ideas on how to increase interest in art are short.

task response

Add one or two clear examples. For example, you can mention school art clubs, free museum visits, or art events in the city.

task response

Develop each main idea more. Some points are good, but they need more explanation about how and why.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more carefully. Words like 'however', 'therefore', 'for example', and 'as a result' can help show your ideas step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Make paragraph ideas more balanced. The first body part is a bit more developed than the second one.

task response

You clearly introduce the main topic and stay on it all the way through the essay.

task response

You answer both questions, so the reader can understand your main view.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is logical.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear conclusion that matches your main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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Art is consider an crusial part of society however people turn more to businness technology sience. Why is that ? What can be done to encourage more people to tkae intrest in art?

Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some scientists believe that studying the behavior of 3-year-old children can tell which children would grow up to be criminals. To what extent in your opinion is crime a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?