IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that loss of animals and plants as major environmental issue while others think that there are other major environmental problems. what is your opinion?

Nowadays, the
environment
Use synonyms
 is taking a huge place in everyone's life. As part of a multicultural and massive population of human beings living in
this
Linking Words
 world, not everyone has the same point of view
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
 which aspect is more problematic when it comes to the natural ecosystem.
This
Linking Words
 leads us to a
break point
Correct your spelling
breakpoint
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 some people think
that
Verb problem
is
show examples
 the loss of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
,
show examples
 a more problematic issue than other types of environmental challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, we should take a deep look into the
cycle
Use synonyms
 of life.
Plants
Use synonyms
 help humans and the ecosystem to continue the oxygen
cycle
Use synonyms
, thanks
Punctuation problem
. Thanks
show examples
 to the
salvia transition
Correct your spelling
photosynthesis
 that the
plants
Use synonyms
 do, it is possible that the air in the atmosphere
cleans
Wrong verb form
is cleansed
show examples
 and
renovates
Wrong verb form
renewed
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is a crucial factor when it comes to taking care of the full
environment
Use synonyms
,
mostlye
Correct your spelling
mostly
 because without their
cycle
Use synonyms
 it wouldn't be possible to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
 air. Forests like the Amazonian or Siberian are the lungs of the planet, where their main focus is to filter and keep the world clean.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 take a big part
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
cycle
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. Since ancient
ages
Add a comma
ages,
show examples
 the human being has followed a
cycle
Use synonyms
 of eating,
which
Correct pronoun usage
where
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 the majority of food was carnivorous.
Although
Linking Words
 a lot of things have changed since those periods of time, the
animals
Use synonyms
 still take a place when it comes to the natural
environment
Use synonyms
. Sometimes they even regulate themselves by
eaing
Correct your spelling
eating
 their own
prays
Check wording
prey
show examples
. In conclusion, when it comes to
decide
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
 which problems are bigger than others in the field of
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 nature. I strongly believe
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 must be the first issues to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 solved.
That is
Linking Words
 why
without
Punctuation problem
, without
show examples
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
 it
could
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 not be possible for the human being to live a normal life and continue with their everyday functions.

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task response
Give a clear opinion early and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Answer both sides of the question. Say why some people think other problems are more serious, then explain why you disagree or agree.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts now are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
The essay stays on the topic of the environment all the way through.
task response
You try to support your ideas with examples like forests and animals.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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