IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

The renowned American Historian, Daniel J. Boorstin,
has
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once said: “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge.”
This
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 is a quote that has deeply affected the way I see the
world
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, and the way I perceive most essentially what we call “knowledge”. Perhaps, what Daniel J. Boorstin means when he says the illusion of knowledge is that it refers to the fact that we as human beings have adopted
this
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 false narrative that we do know everything, even when we actually don’t.
Hence
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, let me make
one
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 thing clear for you
;
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:
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 in today's
world
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, you in fact don’t know anything…
This
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 is the paradox of the contemporary
world
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. We live in a digital age, which makes us feel extremely lucky
due to
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 the fact that we have access to a vast amount of
information
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 with the rising digitalization. Now, finding
information
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 is just
one
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 button away from you.
Thus
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,
this
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 is where the problem arises, not only
access has
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has access
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 become easier, but
also
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 the democratisation of
information
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 has taken place. In a sense, digital media has enabled the public
to
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not only
obtain
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to obtain
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 but
also
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 to produce and circulate content.
Hence
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,
that is
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 a very immense problem we fail to comprehend, but I will make it easy for you by simply saying
;
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,
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 trust has become extinct. The absence of trust is mainly
due to
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 false
information
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 and narratives that we are being exposed to on a daily basis. Now, if you think about it for a
second,
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there is a huge surplus of
information
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 and plus these are not all coming from
authorized
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authorised
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 and reliable sources.
Therefore
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,
this
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 matter of trust is very complicated and is an invisible crisis that we as human beings go through. When being subject to
these
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this
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 false
information
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, we start building our reality upon false narratives, living our
life
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lives
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 based on false beliefs, norms, and values. If you believe these are personal matters
;
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,
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 you are entirely mistaken.
Such
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 a thing happening makes the
world
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 more complicated not only
an
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in an
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 individual’s life, because we have to keep in mind that what is personal is very much political and public as well. Presumably, misinformation brings many risks within itself
;
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,
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 like
polarization
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polarisation
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, poor decisions made by the public, erosion of democracy and manipulation of people regarding elections, public health and even different types of crises.
Therefore
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,
one
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 thing I know for sure is that we should be taking the issue seriously and combating it with a cautious approach. My personal view of a cautious approach is
one
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 that demands transparency in platforms, a more powerful media accountability and increased digital literacy among people.

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task response
Answer both parts of the task. Say why people want to know the history of a house, and also say how they can find this information.
task response
Stay on the topic all the time. Your essay talks about false information on the internet, but the task is about the history of homes and buildings.
coherence and cohesion
Give clear main ideas in each paragraph. One paragraph for reasons, and one paragraph for ways to research.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to guide the reader, like First, Also, Another reason, Finally.
task response
Add real and clear examples. For example, people may check old maps, talk to old neighbors, or visit local records.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short conclusion that answers the question directly.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a clear opinion and strong voice.
coherence and cohesion
You use some link words like Therefore and Hence to connect ideas.
task response
You show you can discuss a serious topic in an organized way.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: