IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that social media has a negative impact on young people, while others believe it has many benefits.

For some
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 really dangerous, because of their mental implications. Social
media
Use synonyms
 can lead an individual to depression, because
he
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 will see only the good part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 show only that side of
thei
Correct your spelling
their
 life,
for example
Linking Words
, they don't share the struggles that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 them normal
people
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. They create their own image of
theirself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 based on parties and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 life.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
and
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 individual could
also
Linking Words
 become jealous of what
people
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 have,
for example
Linking Words
, watching
always
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 on boats or travelling will make him
unconfortable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
 because he knows that's
unreacheable
Correct your spelling
unreachable
 for him. Therefor
this
Linking Words
 compulsive scrolling can
also
Linking Words
 damage his mental health. For another point of view, social
media
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 can help
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if they are used in a correct
way
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.
For example
Linking Words
, when
people
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use
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 social
media
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 to get information about politics or what is happening in their
country
Punctuation problem
country,
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this
Linking Words
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 a correct
way
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 to
use
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 them, but if they
use
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 it just to bully under the posts or spread
hate
Punctuation problem
hate,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a horrible
way
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 to
use
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of
Change preposition
apply
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them. Social
media
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 can
also
Linking Words
 help
people
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 to connect
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other and create new working
opportuny
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, or they can keep the relationship
beetwen
Correct your spelling
between
 two
people
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 far from each other, and
thank
Replace the word
thanks
 to it
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
realion
Correct your spelling
relationship
 can survive. Some
people
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also
Linking Words
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 gratification by spreading their personal interests online, because
this
Linking Words
a
Verb problem
is a
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 to reach someone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 has
your
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 same hobbies. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long
exposition
Check wording
exposure
show examples
 to social
can
Check wording
media can
show examples
 really damage your brain, that's the reason why
people
Use synonyms
 must care about it, manage it well and dose it.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You talk more about the bad side than the good side.
task response
Make your main opinion very clear in the introduction and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear example for the good side to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer paragraph plan. Start each paragraph with one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in my view.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion.
task response
You use examples to explain why social media can hurt or help young people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow in a clear order from one point to the next.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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