IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that climate has the greatest impact on people’s way of life, while others argue that the economic conditions of a region play a more significant role. This essay will discuss both views, and I believe that climate has a more direct and lasting influence on people’s lifestyles.

Some
people
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 believe that
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
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 has the greatest effect on
people
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 ‘s
way
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 of life. Others believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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 and give
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 own opinion. The primary factor that
weather
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conditions
Use synonyms
that influences
Correct subject-verb agreement
influence
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 the
way
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 of living is considered by certain individuals.
However
Linking Words
, opponents argue that the financial condition of that location has impacted the most in his lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate both perspectives and why I believe that significantly dominates
people
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’s lives. On the one hand, the
weather
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conditions
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 of the region immediately impact the health of individuals. From a broader perspective,
In
Change preposition
at
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 the beginning of the twentieth century, global warming became an ardent issue as it is the cause of serious health issues like skin and respiratory diseases.
In addition
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, agriculture is impacted by the change in
weather
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 patterns. It is universally acknowledged that the crops can be grown and harvested in a specific climate. If
this
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 process has been done in favourable
weather
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conditions
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,
then
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 it enlarges the productivity and leads to better economic
conditions
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.
Thus
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,
people
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 will live favourably
according to
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 their desire.
On the other hand
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, economic developments lead to better job opportunities. A key justification for
this
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 is that good infrastructure attracts investment from foreign and local investors, which helps to create more jobs in that particular location. As it directly affects the earnings of residents and their style of living.
For instance
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, China has empowered its economic status to influence the investors, and despite of highest populated country, the unemployment rate is very low, and the per capita income is almost the same to America. Having viewed both sides, it seems to be more convincing that the environmental condition strongly impact in shaping the lifestyle of multitudes.
People
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 are facing severe health issue by increasing global temperature
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it
also
Linking Words
 affects the food supply chain
due to
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 the consequences of favourable and unfavourable
weather
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conditions
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. In conclusion,
although
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 the economy of a specific area affects
people
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's lives in a certain
way
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, the severity of environmental
conditions
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 has a more immediate and deep impact on
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people
Check wording
people's
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of living

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task response
Answer both sides in a more clear way. Your view is clear, but some ideas are hard to follow.
task response
Use more direct main ideas for each body paragraph. Then explain each idea with simple and clear support.
task response
Your example about China is not fully clear or well linked to your main point. Use a more simple and exact example.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a more smooth order. Some sentences do not connect well with the one before.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Some links are used, but a few feel forced or not correct.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence meaning carefully. A few grammar and word choice problems make your message less clear.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic 4-part structure, which is good for IELTS.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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