IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

In the graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
overall
Linking Words
Use synonyms
households
Check wording
number of households
show examples
 which possess technological
products
Use synonyms
 has increased
overall
Linking Words
 from 1995 to 1999. Among the various types of technologies, the possession of phones had the most immense blow, from the minority to the majority of
households
Use synonyms
. Following the rise of phones,
installation
Correct article usage
the installation
show examples
 of
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 has
also
Linking Words
 been recorded to have an enormous rise, from almost no
households
Use synonyms
 to half of the
households
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the above mentioned
products
Use synonyms
 rocketed, technological
products
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as washing machines, DVD players and computers had
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 as well, but in smaller ranges. It is believed that the advancement of technology has caused the tremendous growth of technology in
households
Use synonyms
. The technological
products
Use synonyms
 have already become a part of daily
necessaties
Correct your spelling
necessities
 which almost every
households
Use synonyms
 have to own .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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