IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write a letter to the local council about plans to close a children's playground in your area in your letter, you should: -say why children are not using the playground - Explain how important the playground is for the local community - Suggest how the playground could be improved

Dear
sir
Fix capitalization
Sir
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, I am writing to express my concern regarding the plan to close a playground
of
Change preposition
for
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children
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 dislike
to play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 in it
because of
Change preposition
for
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 several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the grass in the playing
ares
Correct your spelling
area
 has become overgrown, and
as a result
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, some animals, mainly snakes, have
seen
Verb problem
been seen
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 several times.
Secondly
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, some toys and
equiments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 have been broken partially.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 are afraid of playing there.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
this
Linking Words
 is
only
Correct article usage
the only
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the one
Correct determiner usage
apply
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park left near my home as I live in
congested
Correct article usage
a congested
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 area.
Children
Use synonyms
, accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
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 their parents, play on streets, which create safety hazard,
such
Linking Words
 as the risk of being hit by a vehicle. I would like to suggest
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that if the grass is trimmed regularly, the
pressence
Correct your spelling
presence
 of snakes will be automatically reduced. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could either repair the
equipments
Check wording
equipment
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 and tops or replace them with
one
Correct word choice
new
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 ones. I am looking forward to your positive consideration. Yours faithfully, Rupinder Kaur

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas need more clear support.
task response
Task response: Use more exact words to explain why the park matters to all people in the area.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link some ideas more smoothly with words like also, because, and so.
task response
Task response: You give reasons for why children do not use the playground and you give ways to make it better.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph mostly has one main idea, which helps the reader follow your letter.
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