Some people think it is important to protect traditional culture. Others believe modern culture is more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is considerable debate over whether it is more important to protect traditional
culture
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or to focus on developing modern
culture
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.
While
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some
people
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argue that traditional
culture
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should be preserved, others believe that modern
culture
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plays a more significant role in today’s society. Some
people
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believe that
,
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protecting traditional
culture
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is essential because it strengthens national identity and social cohesion. Traditional
culture
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embodies the history, values, and beliefs passed down through generations. By preserving these cultural traditions,
people
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gain a deeper understanding of their roots and develop a stronger sense of belonging and national pride.
Additionally
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,
culture
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plays a vital role in economic development. In many regions, traditional
culture
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is closely linked to local economic activities,
such
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as handicrafts, festivals, and folk performances. Preserving traditional
culture
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not only provides employment opportunities for local residents but
also
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attracts tourists to experience and learn, supporting the growth of the cultural tourism industry. Others ,
the
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on the
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other hand , argue
Modern
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that modern
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culture
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can promote communication and understanding. In today’s
globalized
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globalised
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world, the interaction of diverse cultures broadens horizons and fosters mutual respect, helping
people
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of different backgrounds live together peacefully.
Furthermore
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, modern
culture
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can inspire cultural innovation.
This
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is because a country can view its local
culture
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objectively, absorb nutrients from other cultures, and make its native
culture
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more vibrant and inclusive. In
this
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way, local
culture
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can expand its influence around the world
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.
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In conclusion,
although
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preserving traditional
culture
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is valuable for maintaining national identity and supporting tourism, I believe modern
culture
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is more important because it fosters international understanding and inspires innovation in an increasingly interconnected world.

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task response
Task response: You answer both sides and give your opinion. This is good. But your ideas need a bit more depth in some parts.
task response
Task response: Add one clear real example for each side. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Task response: Some ideas are clear, but a few are too general, like modern culture helps people understand each other. Explain how and why more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part structure with intro, 2 body paragraphs, and conclusion. This is a strong point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking words are not used well, for example 'Others, the other hand'. Write 'On the other hand' only.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: A few sentences do not flow well because of small grammar and punctuation problems. This makes reading less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Try to connect each main idea to the next with simple clear links, and keep one central idea in each paragraph.
task response
You discuss both views and give a clear opinion in the end.
task response
Your main points are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow overall because the paragraphing is clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the essay feel complete.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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