IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map describes the development of a college campus in 2005 and 2015.

The two map shows the development of the
university
Use synonyms
 campus between 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the campus could have gone for redevelopment , but the
playground
Use synonyms
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged from 2005 to 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
universities are changing their position from north to south and vice versa. In 2005, the
university
Use synonyms
 campus
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 lots of
academy
Replace the word
academic
 buildings in north west
direction
Use synonyms
. Below the academy building, there is a
university
Use synonyms
 office building in the southwest
direction
Use synonyms
 with a dining hall. The
playground
Use synonyms
 was in
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
 east
control
Check wording
corner
show examples
, and it was huge , and the stadium was between the school building and the
playground
Use synonyms
. The parking lot was below the
below
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
playground
Use synonyms
 and opposite the dining hall. But in 2015, the
university
Use synonyms
 underwent redevelopment and changed a lot.
Parking
Correct article usage
The parking
show examples
 lot changed from south to
north west
Correct your spelling
north-west
direction
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
school
Check wording
the number of school
show examples
 building was drop from three to only two
building
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Now
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
 clinic in the southwest
direction
Use synonyms
 authorities building
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 unchanged and remain on same location. The stadium and
playground
Use synonyms
 remain unchanged in both years
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they were on same location. The school
also
Linking Words
 build library on
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
 oversight
along with
Linking Words
 the dining hall.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in contrast".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words university, playground, direction with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: