IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that museums should return cultural artefacts to theircountry of origin.Others argue that it is better for these objects to be kept ininternational museums. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The ownership of historical objects in
museums
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 is widely debated. Some argue that
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artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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 should be returned to their
countries
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 of origin,
while
Linking Words
 others believe they should remain in international
museums
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. But I think that they should be returned to their own
countries
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 On the one hand, supporters of returning
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artifacts
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artefacts
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 argue that these things belong to a nation's cultural heritage. Many objects were taken during wars, which represents injustice.
Therefore
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, returning them is a moral obligation to restore dignity to the originating country.
For instance
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, returning the Benin Bronzes to Nigeria would help local people reconnect with their history.
On the other hand
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, the people who prefer to keep
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artifacts
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artefacts
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 in the international
museums
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 highlight publication. International
museums
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 often have more money and better conditions to protect delicate items.
Additionally
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, keeping them in global hubs allows visitors worldwide to view them together, which can promote the understanding of different kinds of cultures.
By contrast
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, scattering items across many
countries
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 would limit international access. In my opinion,
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artifacts
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artefacts
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 should be returned to their home
countries
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. Beyond ownership, there is
also
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 educational value. When treasures are in their original place, they
could
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can
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 be used to become
the
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apply
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powerful tools for local education, especially for younger generations.
This
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 proximity helps teenagers understand their roots and fosters national feelings, which cannot be achieved when objects are displayed far away. In conclusion,
while
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 international
museums
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 offer better preservation and global access, I believe returning cultural
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artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
 is preferable. It corrects historical wrongs and ensures these treasures educate the people to whom they truly belong.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts are a bit short or jump too fast.
task achievement
Add one more clear example or detail to support each side.
task achievement
Explain your opinion more fully in the third part.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end.
task achievement
You discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
task achievement
You use a relevant example with the Benin Bronzes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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