IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that university education should be free for everyone. Others think that students should pay for their own education.

In today's modern world, there is an ongoing debate about
education
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should be free for everyone,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
students
Use synonyms
 should pay for their own
education
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because if
education
Use synonyms
 is completely
free
Punctuation problem
free,
show examples
then
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 may not value it seriously.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both views and give my opinion. One significant reason why
universities
Use synonyms
 should be free is that everyone has the right to
education
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should be free. Another reason is that if
universities
Use synonyms
 provide free
Use synonyms
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
 every person can develop some skills and contribute to society.
For instance
Linking Words
, European countries provide free
education
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 research shows that the unemployment rate is very low.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 from around the globe migrate there because of free
education
Use synonyms
 and employment.
That is
Linking Words
 why many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
education
Use synonyms
 should be free.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that if
universities
Use synonyms
 provide free
education
Use synonyms
how
Punctuation problem
, how
show examples
 will they manage their curriculum? Capital is required for that. The main reason for
that is
Linking Words
running
Correct word choice
that running
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
 requires capital.
For example
Linking Words
, teacher salaries, research work and maintaining the infrastructure need money.
For instance
Linking Words
, many European countries are now charging
fees
Use synonyms
 because they are not able to manage their expenditure, and because of that, their ranking
drastically
Verb problem
has drastically
show examples
 dropped.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have had to start charging minimal
fees
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
education
Use synonyms
 should not be free. In conclusion, both views are right from their perspective, but I believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should only charge minimum
fees
Use synonyms
 or they can provide some scholarships. If
students
Use synonyms
 cannot afford the
fees
Use synonyms
,
universities
Use synonyms
 should offer them scholarships
according to
Linking Words
 their merit.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: You answer both sides and give your view, so the task is done. But your opinion is a bit mixed. You say you partly agree, but the end says universities should charge only small fees. Make your view more clear from start to end.
task response
Task response: Your main ideas are relevant, but some points are too general. Add one more clear reason for each side and explain it more.
task response
Task response: Your examples are helpful, but they are repeated and not fully clear. Try to use one simple and specific example, then explain how it supports your point.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear basic structure with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some links are used too many times, like 'therefore' and 'for instance'. Use a wider range of simple link words, or sometimes no link word.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences repeat the same idea, such as 'many people believe that education should be free.' Try to avoid repeating the same point. Build the paragraph step by step.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Topic sentences are present, but support is not always strong. After each main point, add one short explanation and one result.
task response
Task response: You discuss both views and give your own opinion. This matches the question well.
task response
Task response: Your conclusion gives a practical middle way with low fees or scholarships. This is a good attempt to develop your view.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is clear.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use paragraphs well, and both the introduction and conclusion are present.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tuition fees
  • financial background
  • economic growth
  • burden of student debt
  • institutional funding
  • equitable access
  • student responsibility
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce development
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: