IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of good. Other argue that customers should avoid buying good with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A portion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that supermarket chains and the suppliers must be mindful when it comes to
over packaging
Correct your spelling
over-packaging
goods
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 the buyer's responsibility to stay away from buying
items
Use synonyms
 that are packaged extensively. In my opinion, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 situation should be controlled and reduced
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the factory and store
level
Check wording
levels
show examples
.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
 many supermarkets have
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 amount of packaged
goods
Use synonyms
avaialble
Correct your spelling
available
 to the consumer. From the factory
level
Add a comma
level,
show examples
 these
goods
Use synonyms
 are stored and delivered to make it easy for these stores to manage their inventory.
However
Linking Words
, not every item requires to be stored in a plastic package.
For example
Linking Words
, many superstores nowadays have vegetables and food sealed and boxed, which is completely unnecessary. These types of
items
Use synonyms
 should be kept inside in a tempreature controlled unit, providing buyers
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to take them inside paper bags or their own bags.
Additionally
Linking Words
, customers should be mindful of what they are buying and try to mitigate overly packaged consumer products.
For instance
Linking Words
, when it comes to food
items
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to always purchase packaged
and
Check wording
items, and
show examples
 on top of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they will use another bag to cover the purchased product.
This
Linking Words
 results in over use of plastic and other harmful products being added to the environment continuously. If
people
Use synonyms
 are mindful enough to demand
items
Use synonyms
 that doesnt require additional packaging whenever they can, suppliers will have to adhere to the consumer demand and be more cautious about it. In my opinion, I believe it is mainly the stores and their manufacturers'
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to reduce overpacking. Because, considering how busy many
people
Use synonyms
are
Punctuation problem
are,
show examples
 it is only preferable
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them to buy
goods
Use synonyms
 that are mainly grab and leave from shops. But if
this
Linking Words
 is controlled from
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
show examples
 and shop level, consumers will be directed towards buying products that aren't packaged
unreasonbly
Correct your spelling
unreasonably
. In conclusion, suppliers should avoid packaging every single item and try to provide options for their buyers. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 must lower the amount of packaged
goods
Use synonyms
 they purchase as much as they can. My opinion on
this
Linking Words
 matter is that
this
Linking Words
 situation should be controlled by manufacturing plants
as well as
Linking Words
 markets
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 provide options to buy unpackaged
goods
Use synonyms
 when necessary.

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task response
Task response: You discuss both sides and give your opinion clearly. To get a higher score, explain each side more fully and make your opinion strong from start to end.
task response
Task response: Some ideas are good, but a few parts are too general. Add more direct reasons for why shops and makers have more duty than buyers.
task response
Task response: Your examples are relevant, like vegetables in boxes and people using extra bags. Try to make one example more exact and fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, two body parts, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most paragraphs stay on one main idea, but some sentences are a bit hard to follow because of grammar and word form mistakes. Use shorter sentences to make links clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use link words like however, additionally, for example, and in conclusion. This is good, but do not use too many. Make sure each link fits the meaning exactly.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give your own view.
task response
Your opinion is clear: shops and makers should carry most of the duty.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order from one paragraph to the next.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturers
  • supermarkets
  • packaging
  • responsibility
  • reduce
  • amount
  • customers
  • avoid
  • buying
  • products
  • waste
  • environment
  • eco-friendly
  • biodegradable
  • options
  • together
What to do next:
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