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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in many countries, younger people are forgetting their old and traditional languages. is this accepted? discuss both sides of this issue?

In many parts of the world, younger generations are gradually losing touch with their traditional
languages
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, often
favoring
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favouring
show examples
 more global forms of
communication
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.
While
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 some people consider
this
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 shift acceptable in an increasingly interconnected world, others argue that it leads to the erosion of cultural identity.
This
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 essay will examine both sides before reaching a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, the decline of traditional
languages
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 can be viewed as a practical and inevitable development. In today’s
globalized
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globalised
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 society,
languages
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such
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 as English play a crucial role in education, business, and international relations. Young people who focus on widely spoken
languages
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 are more likely to access better career opportunities and integrate into the global community.
Additionally
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, having a common language facilitates
communication
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 across borders, fostering cooperation and mutual understanding. From
this
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 perspective,
prioritizing
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prioritising
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 global
languages
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 is not only logical but
also
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 advantageous.
On the other hand
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, the loss of traditional
languages
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 raises serious cultural concerns. Language is far more than a means of
communication
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; it carries history, values, and identity. When younger generations abandon their native tongues, they risk losing a deep connection with their heritage. Over time,
this
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 may result in the disappearance of unique traditions, folklore, and cultural expressions.
Moreover
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, linguistic diversity enriches the world, and its decline could make global culture more uniform and less meaningful. In conclusion,
although
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 the growing dominance of global
languages
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 offers clear benefits in terms of
communication
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 and opportunity, the disappearance of traditional
languages
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 should not be fully accepted. A balanced approach is essential, where young people are encouraged to embrace international
languages
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while
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 still preserving and valuing their linguistic and cultural roots.

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task response
Give one real or clear example in each main part.
task response
State your view a bit more clearly in the second line or at the end of the first part.
task response
Add one more sentence to explain why each main idea is important.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'for example', 'as a result', and 'because of this' to show your ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move well, but you can make the change between the two sides a little smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body part has one main idea and one small example or result.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view in the end.
task response
Your ideas are clear and stay on topic all the time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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