IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people can easily access different kinds of foods around the planet , and I believe that the comfort and choices of varieties in
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 have more advantages for every individual than decades ago. The
supermarkets
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 which offer a wide range of product categories to consumers are significantly increasing in today’s world. Many households in cities tend to buy groceries at the hypermarket because of accessible locations, fresh meats, and organic fruits. Compared to the
last
Linking Words
 years, most of the people can buy almost everything in a single place , which increases customer satisfaction and trustworthiness
Although
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 wet
advertise
Replace the word
markets
 offer limited
products
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 at reasonable prices, some items are not properly regulated and may be outdated, which can negatively affect both health and the environment. In
this
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 case, FMCG companies ensure that
supermarkets
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 are usually cleaned in daily operations and
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 importantly, they strictly follow the rules and regulations to meet the standardised criteria.
In addition
Linking Words
, big markets often imported the international
products
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 to local regions
,
Punctuation problem
;
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as a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has many advantages for many customers because they can purchase different
products
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. Foreign
products
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 cannot be bought at the wet markets because of the limited space.
Therefore
Linking Words
, big markets promote their product promotions through online social media platforms.
For
Linking Words
this
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 reason, many people love to purchase a bulk of
products
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 during promotion days. . In conclusion,
supermarkets
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 allow consumers to save time
while
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 accessing a wide range of
products
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, making global food availability a largely positive development for modern society.

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task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. One part should show why this is good. If you want, another part can show one bad side, then say why the good side is stronger.
task response
Add more clear and real examples. For example, talk about fruit from one country or rice from another country, and say how this helps people.
task response
Some ideas are too general. Explain them more. For example, say how world food helps busy families, or how it may hurt small local sellers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and end, but the middle is not always easy to follow. Group similar ideas in the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Words like 'however', 'therefore', and 'as a result' should match the idea before and after them.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. A few parts feel broken or not complete, so the reader may stop and read again.
task response
You give a clear opinion early: you think this is mostly a positive change.
task response
You stay on the topic of supermarkets and food from many countries.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use paragraphing and some linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
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