IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.

The given line graph and the table depict the number of by the aboard person who across to Australia
by yearly
Rephrase
annually
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 the data of originate places where the travellers came from.
Overall
Linking Words
,
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 line graph can be clearly observed that
amount
Check wording
the number
show examples
 of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 arrived
Australia
Change preposition
in Australia
show examples
 from the period of 1975 to 2005 is increasing steadily.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
below table
Correct word order
table below
show examples
 can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
noticeably
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 the number of visitors separated by each
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 by compared year 1975s data to 2005s information. The line graph shows the volume of entered persons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1975
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost 10
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
level
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
visited people upwards through
Correct word order
people visited increases over
show examples
 30 years. In 2005, overseas travellers came to Australia
over
Punctuation problem
, over
show examples
 300,000 persons. The table gives the number of
visitos
Correct your spelling
visitors
 compared by many different countries. The highest level
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
came from Japan by 3.2 million people in 1975 and
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 12
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 after 3 decades.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest volume is chinese population. In 1975, they arrived only 300
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
extend
Wrong verb form
extended
show examples
 to
jsut
Correct your spelling
just
 800
thousands
Check wording
thousand
show examples
 in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual visits = visits each year
  • overseas residents = people who live in other countries
  • the number rose = the number went up
  • the figure fell = the number went down
  • increase sharply = go up fast
  • increase steadily = go up in a regular way
  • remain stable = stay the same
  • reach a peak = hit the highest point
  • source country = the country visitors came from
  • account for = make up
  • the largest group = the biggest group
  • the smallest group = the least big group
  • compared with = looked at next to
  • respectively = in the same order
  • overall = in general
  • throughout the period = during all these years
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