IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, the government should prioritise health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some believe that the governing party of a
country
Use synonyms
 should
priortise
Correct your spelling
prioritise
 spending taxpayer
money
Use synonyms
 on their
health
Use synonyms
 care
Use synonyms
system
Punctuation problem
system,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe that there are far more significant areas that it should be spent on. In my opinion, I believe that allocating more budget
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 is far more crucial.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, first world countries allocate more tax
money
Use synonyms
 on their hospitals and fund medical projects to produce cutting edge medIcines for various diseases.
As a result
Linking Words
, their citizens have access to them easily
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
show examples
 of their financial situation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it provides the
citizen
Check wording
citizens
show examples
 assurance that they are always protected and taken care of in case of a medical
emergancy
Correct your spelling
emergency
.
For example
Linking Words
, Finland has one of the strongest and
latest
Correct word choice
most up-to-date
show examples
 healthcare systems in the world.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
show examples
 residents of Finland never
relys
Correct your spelling
rely
 on any other
country
Use synonyms
's medical expertise.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other important areas
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as public
transportation
Punctuation problem
transportation,
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 be efficient and strong for a
country
Use synonyms
 to function successfully. Applying more funds to maintain and add new travel methods
as well as
Linking Words
 manage the entire public transportation
system
Use synonyms
 with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technology
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a timely manner helps day to day lives of
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will encourage more
people
Use synonyms
 to use buses and trains, saving gas consumption and mitigating traffic.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 public transport
system
Use synonyms
 is one of the most efficient and innovative across the globe
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it has been identified as the most popular mode of travel among Japanese citizens. In my opinion, I believe the government should place more tax
money
Use synonyms
 on
medical related
Correct your spelling
medical-related
 institutes and products.
This
Linking Words
 can safeguard the
country
Use synonyms
 from ongoing
health
Use synonyms
 issues
as well as
Linking Words
 any future unpredictable disasters.
Best
Correct article usage
The best
show examples
 example during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic many
third world
Correct your spelling
third-world
 countries suffered heavy losses compared to other countries with strong medical systems.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when
health
Use synonyms
 becomes a priority
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top level,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to lean towards healthier lifestyles
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 results in having happy and fit individuals.
To conclude
Linking Words
, by applying more tax
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 feel safe and dependent on their healthcare
system
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is important
other
Correct word choice
that other
show examples
 areas
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as transportation
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
, are also
show examples
 covered and funded to help
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 lives of citizens. I believe that more focus should be on wellness to protect humans from
unpresidented
Correct word choice
unprecedented
show examples
 medical disasters and to encourage a
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
 life.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way.
task achievement
Explain your examples more to show how they support your point.
task achievement
Cover both sides in a more equal way before giving your opinion.
task achievement
Avoid repeating the same idea about health many times.
task achievement
You answer both views and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body parts, and conclusion.
task achievement
You use real country examples like Finland and Japan.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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