Nowadays some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, many
parents
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exert significant pressure on their
children
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to excel in a specific professional career.
This
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trend is primarily driven by the desire for financial stability and
the
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apply
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social prestige. I firmly believe that
this
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is a negative development as it affects
children
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's mental
well being
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well-being
. First of all, most
parents
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aim to secure their offspring's future by pushing them to choose the safest professional path.
Although
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it may look
as
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like
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a draconian approach, it is quite understandable,
according to
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them, given that the job market is remarkably competitive.
Therefore
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, many are pushed towards more promising careers
such
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as medicine or engineering.
This
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leads to
children
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who are more controlled by their families, rather than having their own free will.
Furthermore
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, social prestige plays a crucial role as well. Youngsters are pushed towards more
high status
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high-status
jobs just to please others and feed their
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parents's
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parents'
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ego, and cover for their insecurities. They would rather say that my son is an engineer
,
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apply
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than
my
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that my
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son is an artist
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for
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, for
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example.
As a result
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, they build a society based on status and pleasing others,
over
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rather than
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having a generation with
a
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apply
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free will to choose the career that suits them the most.
Moreover
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,
this
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kills the passion within the
children
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.
For instance
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, an artist pushed to become a lawyer will never reach his full potential nor become
emotionnally fullfiled
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emotionally fulfilled
. And
this
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is why I firmly believe that it is a negative development. In conclusion, social prestige and financial security are what
pushes
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push
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parents
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to exert
this
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pressure on their
youngster
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youngsters
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, and
as a
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result
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result,
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we build a miserable generation
technically
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, technically
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capable but emotionally deprived.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the reasons well, but your view on why this is bad can be a little more developed.
task response
Use one clear example with more detail. This will make your ideas stronger and more real.
coherence and cohesion
Make some ideas simpler and more direct. A few lines are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some joining words are good, but a few parts feel too heavy.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. This will make your essay easier to read.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your main opinion is clear from the start and stays clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow in a logical order.
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