Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Nowadays, flying between countries is increasingly common for various purposes, including
travel
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and business. It offers a time-efficient solution, especially for long-distance destinations.
Although
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some individuals have chosen to reduce or completely eliminate their annual
flights
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, I believe that the environmental benefits of fewer
flights
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outweigh the disadvantages for people. One of the primary reasons to reduce or completely halt flying is the environmental impact. In today's society, millions of aircraft are flying above us, contributing significantly to
air
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pollution and the depletion of the
ozone
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layer
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.
For instance
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, many flying vehicles release substantial amounts of emissions
while
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in the
air
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, which can severely damage the
ozone
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layer
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. If the number of
flights
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could be reduced or eliminated, we would give the
ozone
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layer
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a chance to recover.
Conversely
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, transporting people from one location to another as quickly and safely as possible is a priority for many;
hence
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,
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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are the preferred mode of
travel
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worldwide.
For example
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, when a destination is on the other side of the globe, most individuals choose to
travel
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by
airplane
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aeroplane
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rather than by car or other ground transportation, as these alternatives would take significantly longer.
Additionally
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, in the business world, time directly correlates to income, leading many to opt for the fastest routes available. In conclusion,
while
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air
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travel
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can save valuable time for both businessmen and individuals, the health of our
air
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quality and the
ozone
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layer
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is far more critical than money or time.
Therefore
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, I believe that reducing or eliminating
flights
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can ultimately have a more positive impact on our environment than the inconveniences it may pose to people.

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task response
For task response: answer both sides more fully. You say the good side is stronger, but the bad side for business is very short.
task response
For task response: use more clear and real examples. Your example about long trips is relevant, but it is still general.
task response
For task response: be careful with facts. The point about the ozone layer is not fully accurate for this topic. It is better to talk about carbon emissions and climate change.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay is easy to follow, with a clear intro, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: make your main ideas more balanced. One body paragraph is about the environment, but the other is mostly about travel speed, not all disadvantages for individuals and businesses.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: add stronger linking between ideas inside paragraphs. This will help each point grow step by step.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it the same to the end.
task response
You answer the main question and stay on the topic all the way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like although, conversely, additionally, and therefore.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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