IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fast food is now universally available in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?

Fast
food
Use synonyms
 is becoming more and more popular within
minute
Check wording
minutes
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 in most countries of the world. These days
most
Punctuation problem
, most
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 of the
people
Use synonyms
 prefer fast
food
Use synonyms
 over a healthy meal. I believe fast
food
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 is very damaging but
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 if known the boundaries of eating.
Firstly
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is damaging to
peoples
Check wording
people's
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 health and can cause a lot of medical problems if not
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
. When
people
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 eat without the boundaries of eating
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 can develop severe sickness
that is
Linking Words
 hard to cure. Some
people
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 forget how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
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 is made and forget to set a limit that can cause overeating if eating
everyday
Rephrase
every day
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. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, 50% of
people
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 who eat fast
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Rephrase
every day
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 and without
a
Correct article usage
apply
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limit, get overweight faster than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who eat
not healthy
Replace the word
unhealthy
 but not unhealthy
.
Check wording
foods.
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Above all
Linking Words
eating
Punctuation problem
, eating
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 consistently and with no boundaries set can affect
peoples
Check wording
people's
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 health negatively.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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people
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 do not actually know what is in the fast
food
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. These days
there
Punctuation problem
, there
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 are many news coming out about the fast
food
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ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 are mostly dangerous to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 human body and can even kill one.
People
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 stopped looking at the composition of the
food
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 they eat
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 the fast
food
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. In fact,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 years
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
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 a boy in the United States died just because of the poor fast
food
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 he ate and the deadly ingredients that were in the burger he ate. As I have said,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
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 is dangerous for everybody.
However
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is a good alternative when
people
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 are too busy to cook. Fast
food
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 is affordable and easy to buy all made, so when
people
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 are busy or tired and do not have the energy to cook
something
Punctuation problem
something,
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 it is easy to just buy it ready.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 fills up
stomach
Correct article usage
the stomach
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 and is high in calories
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 a good energy pack in one meal. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example,
people
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 who work long shifts are too
exausted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
 to cook for themselves
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they buy some fast
food
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 that fills them up fast. Fast
food
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 is always an easy option when not cooking. In conclusion, the fast
food
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 availability in most countries can be very damaging but
also
Linking Words
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
. I strongly believe
,
Correct word choice
that
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 fast
food
Use synonyms
 can be very damaging to
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 health, is very mysterious
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 composition and can sometimes be an easy option.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You say fast food is bad, but you also say it is useful. Show your opinion in a more direct way in all parts.
task response
Add more clear main ideas. Some points are repeated, like health problems and danger. Try to give different reasons.
task response
Use examples that sound more real and clear. Some examples are too general or too strong, so they are not fully convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one clear main idea. This will help the essay feel more easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Words like firstly, moreover, however, and in conclusion are used, but sometimes the jump between ideas is still sudden.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order inside paragraphs. Some sentences can be grouped better so the message is clearer.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion. This is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like firstly, moreover, however, and in conclusion.
task response
You give examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Processed foods
  • Nutritional value
  • Chronic diseases
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Economic impact
  • Job creation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainability
  • Dietary habits
  • Consumerism
  • Mass production
  • Public health
  • Health-conscious
What to do next:
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