IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

MORE PEOLPLE HAVE UNHEALTHY DIET AND DO NOT DO ENOUGH EXERCIESS WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS ? HOW CAN WE ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFE STYLE

Tones of Human beings often tend to have an unhealthy lifestyle,and seem to skip physical
exerciessing
Correct your spelling
exercise
. Many find it hard to
maintain
Verb problem
manage
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 and use it correctly. Others use the excuse of not having enough budget for
an
Correct word choice
a healthy
show examples
healty
Punctuation problem
healty,
show examples
 stable lifestyle.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people with bad diets are wasting their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 with the way they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to live. Not having a stable diet may lead to lots of
undiagnoised
Correct your spelling
undiagnosed
 health problems.
Besides
Linking Words
, not
sceduling exerciess
Correct your spelling
scheduling exercises
. Many play it
along with
Linking Words
 not having enough
time
Use synonyms
 in their day to arrange their food or
exercies
Correct your spelling
exercise
.
For example
Linking Words
, waking up in the morning and just going for a
ready-to-go
Punctuation problem
ready-to-go,
show examples
 unhealthy snack
for saving
Wrong verb form
to save
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, we could fix that by getting a meal ready overnight before sleeping for the day after.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Arrainging
Correct your spelling
Arranging
 a thoughtful 15 min exercies matching our To-do list.
For Example
Linking Words
,
Search
Fix capitalization
search
show examples
 for a
youtube exercies
Correct your spelling
YouTube exercise
 video
that is
Linking Words
 simple, easy ,
effortless
Correct word choice
and effortless
show examples
.
arrange
Fix capitalization
Arrange
show examples
 your
time
Use synonyms
 after having your morning meal and get it done.
At the end
Linking Words
, Bad diets are not a life-long pocket that you should include in your lifestyle. It ruins your Digestive system at
such
Linking Words
 an early age. Bring yourself down to earth by starting to arrange your diet and Timetable. And, start a new
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning

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task response
Answer both parts more fully: reasons and ways to help people.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each paragraph.
task response
Add more real and clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one main point only.
coherence cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, for example, and in the end.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the next one.
task response
You answered both parts of the question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and an ending.
task response
You gave some examples about meals and short exercise.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy diet
  • exercises
  • nutritional value
  • processed foods
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • digital entertainment
  • public health campaigns
  • balanced diet
  • community-based initiatives
  • farmers' markets
  • wellness programs
  • government policies
  • subsidies
  • nutritional labeling
What to do next:
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